(Matthew 2:16-18; Jeremiah 31:15; Isaiah 61:1-3)
There was no angel appearance to my husband —
No timely warning granted for us to flee the danger and death of Herod’s sword.
Know that I, too, would have fled.
I would have flown to the ends of the earth to dodge the flash of steel that ended my young son’s life, snuffed out to satisfy the jealous angst of a paranoid king.
Tricked out of a positive identification of his rival by the stealth of the wise men, Herod reduced a precious population of baby boys to a disposable demographic:
male child,
in Bethlehem and its districts,
two years old and under.
My son.
Yes, my tears were foretold by the prophet Jeremiah, and the Messiah survived to live and die in the manner God had ordained.
(Is it ironic only to me that my boy died in the place of the savior of humanity?)
God’s economy is strange.
I would never have removed a creature so fine as he before his time.
There is a great hole in the universe now.
But I am a daughter of Deborah, a woman of the Covenant, and I know Who it is that sits at the Potter’s wheel, Who molds the clay.
I am the work of His hand.
My son was also His vessel.
God is building His kingdom; I know this in my head.
But I am a mother, finite, and I see through a glass darkly.
And I would trade all that promise of righteousness, all that prophetic fulfillment
for one more day with my boy.
Is there ever an era or a set of circumstances in which a bereaved mother does not
sob ragged to frame these words:
Why my child?
Why not some other?
I do not understand, and Jeremiah was cruelly accurate in his prophecy,
for I will not be comforted:
Not by time.
Not by the kind consolation of thoughtful words.
Not by the probing questions, thinly veiled queries, which, over the years
have come to revolve around a single theme:
“Isn’t she over this yet?”
Weeping, I wait for my heart to heal.
Weeping, and finding no ready answer to the evil in the world—the evil in me—
I discover that my suffering creates a space in which I wait for the deep comfort promised by another ancient prophet:
Healing for the brokenhearted.
Consolation to those who mourn.
Beauty.
Joy.
Praise.
I wait for another coming of this Jesus, and I long to believe,
for I know
that shortly after I see His face,
I will see, once again, the face of my boy.
_____________
A few verses in Matthew are all that are granted to the tragedy of slain baby boys following the birth of Jesus. As the mother of four sons, I’ve never experienced this depth of loss, and I find myself wishing with all my heart that these women could have been among those who “sorrow not even as others who have no hope.” I love to think that there may have been those who knew from their exposure to the writings of the prophets that a Messiah would come to live and to die and to give beauty for ashes.
This post first appeared at SheLoves Magazine where we were writing for Advent 2015 on the theme “Paused and Present.”
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Image credit: Guilherme Yagui
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I link-up with a number of blogging communities on a regular basis. They are listed in the left sidebar by day of the week. I hope that you will take a moment to enjoy reading the work of some of these fine writers and thinkers.
Hi Michele, heading over to read!
Have a Blessed Weekend
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This was absolutely beautiful… you need to continue the story, Michele. You have a gift as a story-teller, and the words are laced with grace. I loved this.
Blessings,
Dawn
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So encouraging, Dawn. Thank you.
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Beautiful beginning, so thought-provoking. Headed over there now.
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Thanks, Betsy!
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This intro was absolutely beautiful, Michele! The imagery powerful. I’m going to head over to finish reading, but wanted to say “hi” here first!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
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Thanks, Lori! I appreciate the visit!
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I agree with the comment above – you are a gifted story-teller, Michele, and your words draw me in every time!
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Carrie, your words and kind thoughts are a gift.
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on my way to check it out.
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I’ve often put myself in that place as well. How would I feel, react, respond…go on? You’ve captured a true mother’s heart.
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Thank you, Mary. My fear was that it was presumptuous for me to write from “outside the window” on this topic. Your words are an encouragement.
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Beautiful reminder, Michele, to open our hearts to those who suffer today. Thank you, friend, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday. : )
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Cliff-hanger, on my way;) Thanks Michele.
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Thanks, Meg, for reading!
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Oh my! I have never stopped long enough to ponder the families, the mothers, of all those baby boys. Thank you for writing this. It truly is an important part of the Christmas story.
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I actually intended to approach it from a third person perspective . . . Sometimes stories have a mind of their own. Thanks, Leah, for reading!
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Yes, I would have flown to the ends of the earth, too, to protect my child! Heading over now to see the rest of your post!
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I so appreciate your reading and your encouraging comments!
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[…] recently read the most beautiful lament by Michele Morin that profoundly highlights what Christmas looked like for mothers in the time of Jesus’ babyhood. […]
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I’m in agreement with the other comments above mine… beautiful start. Now I am off to read the rest of your post. Blessings, Misty.
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Thanks, Misty!
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I’m also a mother to four, three of which are boys. I can’t even imagine! Thank you for sharing this with us over at Grace and Truth last week!
Jen @ Being Confident of This
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This is great! Thanks for sharing with the Cozy Reading Spot
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Just exquisite in every way.
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Thanks, Meema. So good to hear from you.
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WOW again! Reposting. xx
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I love your wows.
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Love how you have raised our awareness of a part of the story we too often forget. Thanks, Michele!
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Heartachingly beautiful, Michele. Thank you for writing this.
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Always thankful for your visits, Andrew.
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This is so powerful and thought-provoking and you capture the story so well!
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Thanks, Lesley!
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Breathtakingly beautiful, Michele! I’ve never thought about all the other mothers before.
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That story has poked at me for years, and I so wanted to give one of the mothers a voice. I’m sure that this could be done better by someone who has walked the hard road of losing a child.
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Wow that is gut wrenchingly amazing. Thank you for sharing.
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Thanks for reading, Renee! So lovely to meet you here.
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So profound and thought-provoking, Michele! I really hope they knew of the Hope that would come.
I always enjoy your writing! Have a blessed Christmas!
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Me, too, Carlie. I do hope that for them. And thanks for your kind words!
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Thank you for the stunning portrayal of Rahab’s loss and deep-seated emotion. You write from a such a deep place of knowing. Beautiful, just beautiful!
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Thanks, Mary, for your ever-encouraging presence here.
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Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach when I consider all those little boys, the same age as my youngest. To have him ripped from me, screaming, murdered in front of my eyes by heartless men…the wails of hundreds of mothers must have reached Jerusalem. This is a good reminder that our Nativity story is not a warm, cozy, feel-good story, but a gritty one with sections that make us cringe. So this is Christmas.
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So many of the stories of the Bible have been sanitized for flannelgraph. We get the real deal when we go straight to the source, and it’s hard to read. Thanks for your amazing ability to enter into the story that is Christmas.
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We seldom think of the cost in regards to the children that died before Jesus came. Thank you for so eloquently voicing the hurts and hopes of those mothers who had their children ripped from them. It puts a different perspective on the Christmas story, to be sure.
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I tried to give voice to the mothers who have suffered loss and want to believe that all will be redeemed one day — but who can’t quite see it because they are heartbroken and want “everything sad to come untrue.” Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts.
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I love thinking through these very subtle details in the Scriptures too, Michele. We can so easily gloss over them and we miss a monumental loss for all of those young mothers at that time in history. I can’t even imagine. But as you said, I do hope many of those mothers found salvation through the Messiah who cost them their son’s lives. Thanks for this thought-provoking look at the Christmas story!
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I love this!!! You definitely have a talent for writing, and this really touched my heart! Thanks for sharing at the Grace + Lace Linkup!!
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Oh, thank you Mackenzie, for your encouraging words and for visiting here today!
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Michele, Just today as I was reading through the story of Jesus’ birth, my husgand and I started thinking about the magnitude of this horrible thing that happened. I think as a young mom I didn’t want to think about it. I don’t particularly want to think about it now either, but today we did. I appreciated this viewpoint. thanks Michele
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Christmas is also a time of grief for so many. I miss my father and this poignant poetry brought truth to my grief. My holiday blessing is that my father is with the Lord. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLinkup this week and all the past weeks.
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This is absolutely beautiful! So poignant.
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Thank you! So glad that you visited!
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Wow. That’s powerful.
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So glad that you found this piece! Thanks for stopping by!
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Just reading this was heart-breaking.
No other comments.
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That story is so compelling. Every Christmas I re-read the story from Scripture and wonder about Herod’s rampage and the effect on those families.
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What a powerful and heart-rending description of a mother’s anguish. I can see why this is your favorite!
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Thanks, Laurie, for this encouragement!
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