Enduring and Beautiful Marriage

Twenty-five years of marriage have flown by.  In many ways, my husband and I are not the same people who walked down the aisle in that big, beautiful church with pipe organ music and the aroma of gardenias in the air.  Everything in our lives has changed — except one thing.

We are still working at our love.

Dr. Kim Kimberling offers practical advice and specific strategies in 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage that will motivate couples and inform the kind of hard work that goes into building a marriage that will go the distance.

His secrets are concise, memorable one-word commands:

  1. STOP — Don’t keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results!  Claim your baggage, align your expectations with reality, and make changes that will lead to a stronger marriage.
  2. START — Put God first and your spouse second.  Start praying together as a couple; worship and serve together; commit together to seeking God and praying for each other.
  3. CONNECT — Stop, look, and listen to your spouse to demonstrate that you are present to their words and emotions.  Compassion, sincerity and empathy build connectivity in a marriage.
  4. ENGAGE — Airing conflict (fight right!) is healthy and productive, but choose your battles carefully and make sure that strategies include taking responsibility for your own contribution to the problem and using words that facilitate reconciliation.
  5. BALANCE — With four kids, scheduling time for each other has been our biggest challenge.  Remembering that our marriage is our most important relationship provides motivation for better time and financial management.
  6. MINGLE — The gift of intimacy is a mingling of souls and will be enhanced when couples respect each other and commit to a 24/7 demonstration of love.
  7. FIGHT — If marriage is a game, husband and wife are on the same team.  If marriage is a battle, husband and wife are fighting on the same side, and marriage is worth fighting for.  Dr. Kimberling encourages his readers to make daily choices that enhance trust and strengthen the bond that builds an unshakeable foundation.

The seven secrets are great to know, but will only impact a marriage if the husband and wife put the steps into action.  Solomon spoke of the three-fold cord that is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12), and he spoke more wisdom than he practiced.  God stands ready to be the strengthening third in a marriage that nothing can tear apart.  Now, that’s awesome.

This book was provided by Zondervan through the BookLookBloggers Program in exchange for my review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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26 thoughts on “Enduring and Beautiful Marriage”

  1. You make this sound like a good one, Michelle. I’m curious to find out just how good, so I can decide if I should pick up a copy. 🙂 I don’t know if your son and daughter-in-law are big readers or not, but would you recommend this book to them?


  2. You make this sound like a good one, Michelle. I’m curious to know just how good, so that I can decide if I should pick up a copy. 🙂 Here’s what I’ll ask to prod: would you recommend this book to your son and daughter-in-law?


    1. Ha! Yes, I would because it’s a quick read (they’re not much into non-fiction). It’s also intensely practical and results-oriented. But I just read another book that I’ll be posting a review for on Wednesday (I hope), and it’s much deeper, a more thoughtful read. It’s called Sacred Marriage — lots of imagery about how marriage is a platform for intimacy with God in the same way that a spiritual discipline would be.


  3. Great tips. I would also add… It’s not necessary to assign blame. So often we come at a situation asking “who’s fault is this?” In the context of marriage, that is rarely a productive question b/c knowing “who did it” doesn’t resolve the situation. i think it’s much better to just deal with what is and not look for blame.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the ideas you put forth in this post!!! I really want my readers to know about this too! I want to share this in my weekly series called “Roll Out The Red Carpet Thursday” – I share bloggers’ amazing posts that I’ve found during the week. I hope that’ ok! Have a great night!


    1. I’m really glad that you got a lot out of the post, and I’d be thrilled to have you share it with your readers. What a fun concept to “roll out the red carpet” on Thursday. Going now to check out your blog!


  5. I like the one word commands, easy to remember. I know what you mean about not being the same people who married 25 years ago. It’s 20 for my husband and I next month, but I feel the same. I guess that’s part of the miracle when you work together for a relationship that lasts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Michele, I love the marriage wisdom you share because it is godly wisdom you have applied. I especially loved the advice about balance … realizing financial management is a part of making the marriage relationship a priority. Thank you, Michele, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sounds like a very good marriage book, Michele! Thanks for the review!

    I came over on Cozy Reading Spot today, and I’m glad to find your post.


    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like a book filled with wise advice. Thanks for the informative and well-written review! Linked up with you at Faith & Fellowship — hope you’ll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
    God bless,


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