You’re sitting around a table at your favorite restaurant. The kids are just cleaning up their plates; you’re fiddling with the debit card, when along comes the little lady with the big smile and the kind eyes.
“I just have to tell you how much I enjoyed seeing your children this evening . . .” she begins, and your heart swells with gratitude and pride because, deep down, we all want our children to stand out and to be remarkable for the right reasons.
Parenting would be lovely if only there were a formula, a series of steps to follow, which would ensure the desired outcome. Raising Uncommon Kids offers the astounding (and wise) suggestion that parents pay a little less attention to their children’s behavior and a little more time evaluating their own behavior.
There is no quick fix for raising children. There are, however, character qualities and behaviors that we desperately want to see in our kids’ lives. Author Sami Cone suggests that the first and best place to look for those characteristics is . . . in our own lives!
Beginning with the principles found in Colossians 3:12-17, Sami looks at the life of a family through three distinct lenses:
1.Your Heart at Home: How do you and your spouse talk to each other? What kinds of behaviors and responses are fair game on the average Thursday afternoon? What do your choices reveal about your priorities? Remember: “your influence will impact your kids far more than your instruction!”
2. Your Attitude Toward Others: Do your children see you considering others before yourself? Is their obedience all about fear and rules and consequences, or are they beginning to see that forgiveness, patience, and kindness are the best and most sensible way to live?
3. Your Influence in the World: Selfless behavior has impact far beyond the family room, and kids who are grounded in gratitude, peace, humility, and compassion will become world changers wherever they go.
Raising Uncommon Kids pulls in the experiences of a dozen wise mums who offer their input and encouragement in mentoring moments. Sami goes on to share very practical suggestions for putting godly character into action. For example, model gentleness in your home with lunch-box notes, spending time one-on-one with kids, or by charging a fine when kids or parents complain or make negative comments. Teach compassion and give kids a crash course in what it’s like to be an adult by switching roles for the day!
The traits listed in Colossians 3 — gentleness, forgiveness, wisdom, patience, kindness, humility — are foundational to living a peaceful and selfless life. The Bible is a mirror for parents in which we see clearly our own failures in word and deed, find forgiveness, and then move toward qualities that we want our children to emulate. Very often, a new tone in a household is not the result of a discouraging do-list of unachievable behaviors, but rather a change in heart based on truth that comes from the uncommon love of a wise heavenly Father.
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This book was provided by Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Hello friend, I like this book already…three powerful points are highlighted. If our kids understand how their little actions affect a whole lot of people then we would have taught them how to be more compassionate, less irrational in their decisions and more selfless in character.
Thanks for sharing about the book.
God Bless, Michele.
PS: I am still working on the other project…..you wont believe how time flies friend.
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I sure do believe that time leaves us in the dust sometimes! You’ve had a very busy winter (summer for you!). Feel no stress on my account, friend.
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So much truth here! Our attitude speaks most strongly of all to our children. They watch and hear so much!
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They are absolutely little sponges. Especially when we wish they WEREN’T listening!
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No doubt! My husband invented a trick for that when our kids were small. While learning their multiplication tables, all it took to get them out of the room was ask, “How much is 9 x 6?” All conversations are not for young ears!
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HA! Amazing! Smart husband!
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I think so! And as a former accountant, quick with Math and number things. Unlike me. He took over our homeschool math classes, when our kids just weren’t getting their multiplication tables. No wonder I still do them with my fingers, ha!
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Wow, Michele, this sounds like a really interesting book. It’s so easy for us as parents to focus on THEM, the kids! They’re the ones who don’t behave like we want them to! But I guess lots of times we’re not behaving like we should either! 🙂 So good to focus on what we’re modeling in our homes. Lord Jesus, give us grace.
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So true. My attitude leaks all over the house some days. Thanks be to God for His grace!
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You can do no wrong in raising kids with the Scripture. I think it’s a good read.
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A formula would have been wonderful for raising my precious kids. This book looks amazing. What an incredibly important topic. Thanks for the recommendation, Michele!
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So much better to trust God to lead us . . . but there are days when I’d like to get my hands on that “formula!”
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Great review here, Michelle. The more parenting advice I give, the more I realize the finger points back to us! If we want them to live a certain way, we must live that way first. This sounds like an excellent book!
Thanks for sharing with us on Tuesday Talk!
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So true, Ruthie. More righteousness is caught than taught!
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Visiting from What to Read Wednesday; this sounds like a great book. I know that more than what I say the kids watch what I do.
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Shared on FB & Twitter! Thanks. 🙂
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Wow, thanks for your encouragement!
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This sounds like a great book. I will definitely have to check it out!
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So many times in parenting I’ve been convicted of my own behavior and how it’s influencing theirs. It’s a hard fact to face sometimes. Thanks for sharing this review and linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.
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. . . especially when we hear our own words coming out of our children’s mouths. Yes, ouch, I’ve been there too.
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These were great points and this sounds like a great book. I am trying to be more intentional about reading books about parenting before my little one gets to old. I have always been a big believer in modeling the actions we want to see our children display. If we yell then they will too. Great stuff!
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Great timing, Rhiannon. Get those good habits in place early!
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Very interesting, Would love to see your posts in the Practical Mondays Link Up:)
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Thanks for the heads up. I’ll check it out!
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I love this focus on changing me as the parent. Very challenging! Thanks for being a part of the Booknificent Thursday reading community this week!
Tina
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