You Are Not Obsolete

To the Older Woman in the Church: You Are NOT Obsolete

Posted on by Michele Morin

When Tim Keller passed away, the media honored his career, and in all the reporting, I noticed one detail about his impact on evangelical thought and culture. When he published his first book (The Reason for God) in 2008, he was 57 years old, and the book was a compilation of his ministry experience to that point, having planted Redeemer Presbyterian in the heart of New York City at age 39. He was an older man when he achieved “success” in the public eye, in stark contrast to the rapid trajectory of more recent church leaders and media influencers.

The word “marinate” comes to mind when I consider Keller’s years of quiet, unseen faithfulness. They were apparently no more absent of significant activity than a drop of pond water under a microscope, but they could have felt that way–without God’s microscope. Preparing sermons, answering questions, counseling New York’s seekers, and praying about all of it created a base of wisdom that permeated Keller’s words and work and fueled the respect he inspired.

Marinated Wisdom Takes Time

This is a welcome and refreshing perspective for me at age 60. When I know in advance that a family barbecue is in the works, I thaw the chicken, prepare the marinade, and leave it soaking in the fridge for at least overnight. Marinating anything takes time, and, for me, that truth has consequences that reach far beyond my delicious recipe for teriyaki (which I will be sharing in my newsletter next week, so if you’re not already a subscriber, see details below!)

I don’t consider that I’ll actually be “old” in the biblical sense until I’m 70, but I’m certainly no longer young, and there’s always the temptation to consider myself as obsolete. Awkwardness with technology, cluelessness about current Christian music, solid obtuseness over trendy terms and clothing, and a certain crankiness of disposition (that I can’t blame on age) definitely disqualify me for the cool kids’ table in the cafeteria.

However, it’s beginning to come to my attention that my presence and work in The (capital C) Church and in the church I call home is just as important as ever. It’s just in the process of changing as I respond to the marinating process that comes with the gift of time.

Older Women Remember

The word remember shows up in the Bible 253 times, and in surprising contexts. For example, in Moses’s farewell sermon, he exhorts Israel to remember “the great and terrifying wilderness,” an experience you’d think would be best forgotten, but no! God was clear that the wilderness had a painful purpose: to humble, to test, and to show the people of God what was truly in their hearts. They were to remember.

Older women in the church are the remember-ers. We remember past decisions that went well–and those that didn’t. We remember that it’s been ten years since someone’s sweet son or daughter passed away leaving a broken-hearted parent still grieving, so we send a card or make a call. We remember the time when a church potluck consisted of two lasagnas and a multitude of nothing but brownies, so we suggest a purposeful sign-up list.

Older women in the church: You are NOT obsolete!

We were there when VBS was a solid presence on the church calendar, and we remember that planning and preparation began in February. When someone suggests, casually, (in April) that we ought to “do something for the kids this summer,” we are responsible to temper the planning process with sweet reasonableness.

Remembering carries responsibility. At times, it means we’re the person in the room with the most experience, which requires that we speak up–even if it feels uncomfortable. Discernment for this is part of our marinating process.

Older Women Model a Faithful Following

Faithfulness has as many faces as there are faithful women who show up to serve God and others. The church treasurer remembers to figure out the mileage reimbursement as well as the honorarium for the guest speaker. The women’s ministry coordinator makes space in the church calendar for encouraging gatherings, and the Sunday school teacher studies the Bible not only for her own heart but also for the women who attend her class. Younger women stepping into these roles behind us will be encouraged by our example–and by our stories about times when things didn’t go well at all but the world didn’t end.

Then there are the behaviors and choices we’d rather not model, but may be more significant in the kingdom of God than anything else we’ve done. The widow models the path of loneliness with courage. The woman navigating a chronic illness models the truth that our suffering is never for nothing.

The terminally ill woman shares the gritty truth that she has fixed her eyes on a “far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” that surpasses her investment in this world. (2 Corinthians 4:17). Her end-of-life attitude teaches her people that death is not the worst thing to happen to a child of God.

As we age, bad things happen to our bodies and, sometimes, to our families. Our posture toward loss is preparation for those who are coming along behind us “as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Older Women Interpret Scripture and Life

As older women become more skilled in our exegesis of Scripture, we learn that we are also required to exegete our lives, to interpret our circumstances in light of what we know from Scripture to be true about God. If we get this backward, and we insist on looking first at the mess created by the aging process, we will always come to the wrong conclusion about God. For example, “This Parkinson’s diagnosis means that all is chaos, and God is not sovereign over the details of my life.”

However, if we come to the unthinkable with the unshakable conviction that God is good, if we learn to interpret all of life through the lens of God’s sovereign right to call the shots, we are prepared to respond with godly faith when the bubble of protection bursts and horror comes closer than we thought it ever could. Sharing the view from our redeemed suffering prepares the Body of Christ for a more powerful presence in this world as we demonstrate the truth that living hope is not contingent upon perfect circumstances.

If we come to the unthinkable with unshakable conviction that God is good, if we interpret all of life through the lens of God’s sovereignty, we are prepared to respond with faith when horror comes closer than we thought it ever could.

Older Women Have Rejected Lesser Gods

The gift of years has demonstrated for me the poor comfort of all my idols. Not a one offers forgiveness or lasting hope but only requires my continual and slavish devotion. God wants to topple the idols in every believer’s life and older women can testify that even a weak and flickering faith in a Big God is infinitely more effective than a strong faith in a lesser god.

Our life is safe–not because our faith is strong, but because our God is all-powerful and he is the object of our faith.

Older women in the Body of Christ are not obsolete, and “so we do not lose heart. Though our outer self” may be forgetful, less agile, and plumper than we’d like, “our inner self is” on duty, continuing in service to our God (2 Corinthians 4:16). As we remember God’s faithfulness and our own failings, as we model a right response to the contingencies of life on a fallen planet and strive to interpret those contingencies through the lens of biblical truth, and as we trust for grace to distinguish between good things and ultimate things, we continue to serve God and the church in ways that are both meaningful and irreplaceable.

Holding You in the Light,

Older women in the Body of Christ are not obsolete, and “so we do not lose heart.” Though our outer self may be forgetful, less agile, and plumper than we’d like, our inner self is on duty, continuing in service to our God.

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Published by Michele Morin

Michele Morin is a Bible teacher, writer, reader, and gardener committed to the truth that women can become confident Christ-followers and students of God's Word. She has been married to an unreasonably patient husband for thirty-plus years, and together they have four sons, four daughters-in-love, and six adorable grandchildren. Michele loves hot tea and well-crafted sentences, poems that stop her in her tracks, and days at the ocean with the whole family. She laments biblical illiteracy and advocates for the prudent use of “little minutes.” She blogs at Living Our Days, and you can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

42 thoughts on “To the Older Woman in the Church: You Are NOT Obsolete”

  1. Nice one!.
    Here is what I think
    This is such an inspiring article, reminding us that older women in the church are not obsolete and have a unique and important role to play in serving God and His people. Thank you for sharing!
    Thanks, Ely

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  2. Thank you for this. Just as I had decided it was time to hang it up, that I had said all I could say in as many ways as I know how, you post this. God speaks to us in the way we can hear. And, BTW, if you think 70 is old, try being 76, half blind and weary in body and soul. When I think it’s time to retire, I think about Moses being 80 and starting out for a 40 year trek in the wilderness, I realize retiring is not an option when working for the Church.

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    1. It’s so good to hear from you–and to know that you’re not ready to retire yet! Thanks for showing up in all the ways you have in the past. And I have a feeling that you’re doing a lot more right now than you give yourself credit for…
      For one, you’re a blessing to me!

      Like

  3. Many good observations and you have me smiling as you speak of being 60 and looking at 70 as becoming old. As one who has been in her 70’s for some time and will be 80 this fall, I would see 60 as decidedly young still and I am no longer sure of what “old” is except that it certainly means more experience and prayerfully wisdom as well as you note. We are the remember-ers while hopefully also looking forward to the new ideas and things that our younger sisters will be used by the Lord to create while we cheer them on and encourage them when things don’t go exactly as they plan or hope. As age catches up with us, we will savor moments and live each day appreciating the gift of it.

    I always enjoy you words and heart. Have a blessed Sunday!

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    1. Yes, and I have been pretty well trained in the traditional evangelical women’s mindset of keeping a low profile—and it has served me well. However there’s a time to speak up and also a time to step aside and let younger people get leadership experience.

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  6. I made a comment this morning but it must have been lost in the web. I’ll be 84 this week, and I appreciate so much your perspective. God is not finished with us yet.
    Please keep writing. I have saved several of your posts to read and read again and this is one of them.

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    1. Glad you persevered in commenting, Jean! I’m so grateful that God has entrusted to me the privilege of encouraging others with my words. Thanks for letting me know that you’re reading and nodding your head in agreement!

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  7. Several years ago I was invited to speak at a church in a neighboring state. Then I heard back, they’d asked me too soon. The committee had decided they needed someone younger. They wanted to draw the church’s younger women. I wasn’t offended, only one had met me, just surprised. As a young woman, I loved hearing from those who’d successfully passed through my stage in life. Even as one of the older woman, I enjoy learning from those of different generations.

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  8. Michele: At present, our church’s congregation is an “older” congregation. However, we have some very active “older ” members. Our office administrative assistant is 83. Our church treasurer is in her middle seventies. We have people serving in positions that are retired. Our women’s group president is in her 80’s. A couple of our dear ladies who are members are in their 90’s. I love each of them. One of them will turn 98 this week. When she is not in church service, We know something is going on. Peace and blessings to you and yours.

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  9. Spot on, Michele! With you I love being a cheerleader for younger women, affirming they WILL survive the terrible-twos, the surly young teens, and the empty nest. I’m living proof that God DOES see us through hard times, he IS a most gracious God, and he’s incredibly patient and forgiving. For awhile I felt that younger women looked at me as irrelevant to their experience since life has changed drastically over the last few decades. But a number of them have assured me that’s not the case! They long for voices of experience and wisdom to speak into their lives.

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      1. Praise God I’m able to speak encouragement to your heart, Michele. That warms MY heart! And yes, I’m older than you by more than a decade–though I certainly don’t feel it!!

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  10. Thank you so much Michele. I will be 70 this October and my husband just turned 72. I would have never dreamed that we would be the oldest couple in our church at this (young) age. Obviously our church is younger. I feel a great responsibility to mentor and teach the younger ladies. It is a responsibility that I take very seriously with much prayer. I do not feel obsolete, others may think so. God wants to use us in every season of our life, I just want to be obedient.

    I am going to share this with a few friends. Excellent post!

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    1. Isn’t it just the strangest thing to look around and realize that you are the most experienced voice in the room? For me, it’s kind of snuck up on me. It’s a responsibility to steward well.
      And thank you for passing the article along!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Love this post Michele! Especially your folllowing statements;
    “The woman navigating a chronic illness models the truth that our suffering is never for nothing.”
    &
    “If we come to the unthinkable with unshakable conviction that God is good, if we interpret all of life through the lens of God’s sovereignty, we are prepared to respond with faith when horror comes closer than we thought it ever could.”

    Such an encouraging message…thank you!
    Blessings, Jennifer

    Like

    1. I have a very special sensitivity now to those who are navigating chronic illness. I’m so grateful that you were encouraged. Actually, it encourages me to hear from you and to know what points made the most sense to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Michelle, this is a powerful article full of wisdom and love. I am 63, and although I do not feel old, I do (because I am) – so I understand what you are discussing. I enjoy being older, although it does have its challenges. But I love that you write that older church women are not obsolete. So beautiful – thank you!

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    1. I really want to encourage my peers—the women who have been carrying the casseroles and managing the Sunday schools—that we have NOT aged out of ministry relevance. I appreciate your confirmation that the message has come through!

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  13. Thanks for these important words. I’m 54, and sometimes feel my age as a women’s ministry leader, wondering if I’m just not hip enough to lead a ministry interesting to the younger generation. At the same time, I look at my older sisters, the ones who’ve kind of moved on and the ones who are hanging in there and showing up, and wonder how to be an encouragement to them–because we need their presence in our lives and in our Bible studies, events, and service projects. You’ve given me things to think about and I’m grateful.

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    1. I’m trying to remember whether I expected my mentors to be “hip.” I don’t think so… I think I just wanted them to pour out their wisdom. Thanks for sharing your experience and your story here. We’re on the same journey.

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      1. Hip was probably not my best word choice. In our ministry to and for women, we strive to serve all ages and are so grateful when the older ones from our church body join us because their wisdom is so valuable. It took a while, but they’re there. We’re not getting the younger generation, yet anyway. A lot of 40s and 50s but not the younger gals. Maybe it will just take some time for them, too.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We have struggled with the same issue and it’s hard to know exactly how to reconcile scheduling and programming to meet the needs of both ends of the spectrum. Especially with limited resources…
        We need wisdom, Lord!

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  14. […] To the Older Woman in the Church: You Are NOT Obsolete. “Older women in the Body of Christ are not obsolete, and ‘so we do not lose heart.’ Though our outer self may be forgetful, less agile, and plumper than we’d like, our inner self is on duty, continuing in service to our God.” […]

    Like

  15. Well, I guess at 73, I’m officially old. LOL Seriously, this is so important to understand and, as always, you said it so well, Michele. In a world that tries to fight aging at every turn, we all need to understand the blessings that come with the process. More than anything, I want to finish well. I don’t want to waste the wrinkles and white hair or the experience that has come with them both. Blessings!

    Like

  18. Though not in the church, Anna, the prophetess that beheld the babe Jesus, spoke of him to all in Jerusalem that looked for redemption. And she was 84 years old. At that age, God was not finished with her. Anna probably told the people that that babe would grow up to be their kinsman-redeemer, if they put their faith and trust in him.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Such wisdom here, Michele. You’re proving your own point that you’re not obsolete (although I’m 60 too so I won’t count us too old!). 🙂 But even though I realize I am now an “older woman” it’s still hard to think of myself that way. But it is what it is, and I need to step into the role responsibly and with as much godly wisdom as I can. I’ll be featuring this post at the Grace & Truth linkup tomorrow at my blog!

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    1. When I think “60,” I definitely picture a woman SO MUCH wiser and more pulled together than I feel.
      And yet here we are, Lisa! Thanks for sharing my post at your site. I’ve been VERY surprised by the amount of feedback I’ve received on this topic. Clearly, we’re all feeling a little wobbly in our role as “older women.”

      Like

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