The Wise and Generous Ways of the Grandmothering Life

The Wise and Generous Ways of the Grandmothering Life

Posted on by Michele Morin

Since I became a grandmother, I’ve become curious about the lives of my own grandmothers. One I was able to observe up-close-and-personal because we barged into her life when I was a toddler and lived in her house for my entire childhood.

I know that she loved to read Harlequin Romances, that she was blind in one eye, and that, in their younger days, she and my grandfather used to dance until dawn and then come home to do farm chores. She taught me to recite Psalm 23 and passed down the genes for a wild head of thick, unruly dark hair. I never once asked her what it was like to live with crippling arthritis or to outlive two of your children.

My other grandmother is mysterious. Although I’ve never met her, I’ve been told that I look like her and even sound like her on the phone. She died suddenly the year before my parents met and married, but to the day my mother died, she couldn’t talk about my grandmother without tears. I doubt if she would have ever married if her mother had lived, so, in a weird way, I owe my existence to the death of my grandmother.

I expect this kaleidoscope of images has carried forward into my own grandmothering role in some way, but, then, we are all relational trailblazers, aren’t we? Our oldest grandson christened me “Bam” before he was old enough to appreciate all the unique and explosive implications of the name. His siblings and cousins have followed in (what seems to me) rapid succession, causing me to stop in my tracks for frequent head counts—and also for a careful assessment of just exactly what it means to be a grandmother.

I’ve come up with a list that includes things like supporting our kids in their parenting role, reminding the family of the beauty of the following life, and showing up in practical ways with offers of babysitting and quart jars of green beans. However, even my own family history demonstrates that grandmothering is a many-faceted jewel, and Leslie Means has rallied an army of women to shine their light on the topic.

Grandmothering is a gift of second chances. It’s the opportunity to redeem imperfect relationships and make the best of what life has sent our way. It requires all-in creativity balanced by hands-off respect for boundaries.

So God Made a Grandma is a collection of essays written from the memories of grateful daughters and granddaughters and from the experiences of older women in the trenches of the grandmothering life. As a member of this wholehearted band of love-givers, tradition-keepers, heart-holders, and memory-makers, every single story resonated, and it was a gift to read the evidence that “good” grandmothers come in every possible description.

I was reminded that grandmothering is a gift of second chances. It’s the opportunity to redeem imperfect relationships and make the best of what life has sent our way. It requires all-in creativity balanced by hands-off respect for boundaries.

You don’t have to be a grandmother to appreciate the inherent wisdom of women who give grace, think about legacy, and celebrate the hard and sorrowful alongside the rich and fruitful. With Mother’s Day approaching on the calendar, this seems like a perfect gift for the woman you want to honor, bless, or mentor in the generous ways of the grandmothering life.

Holding You in the Light,

So God Made a Grandma is about grandmothers but you don’t have to be one to appreciate the inherent wisdom of women who give grace, think about legacy, and celebrate the hard and sorrowful alongside the rich and fruitful. @TyndaleHouse

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Published by Michele Morin

Michele Morin is a Bible teacher, writer, reader, and gardener committed to the truth that women can become confident Christ-followers and students of God's Word. She has been married to an unreasonably patient husband for thirty-plus years, and together they have four married sons and a growing fleet of adorable grandchildren. Michele loves hot tea and well-crafted sentences, poems that stop her in her tracks, and days at the ocean with the whole family. She laments biblical illiteracy and advocates for the prudent use of “little minutes.” She blogs at Living Our Days, and you can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

24 thoughts on “The Wise and Generous Ways of the Grandmothering Life”

  1. You are the epitome of outstanding grandmotherhood. I know you are appreciated for that. I’ve said a zillion times that if I had known how good grandkids are I would have had them first.  But here’s an update on the whole cycle: it is way different being a great grand. My oldest daughter got to babysit her first grand for two days. They popped over yesterday to visit. He is a pistol – classic busy boy – fifteen months but already able to figure out how to explore a great grand’s domain and go straight for the things he should not. I watched my daughter being over the moon in love with her new heir and I am so happy for her. 

    I am also sobered to realize I can’t be the Meema for him that I was for his mom and uncles and aunts. I am not likely to see this boy become a man. But it’s okay because it is the circle of life and I know he is in good hands. Maybe I had some contribution to that. I like to believe anyway.  

    There are so many sad stories in this fallen world, of kids who never had good parenting or grandparenting. Breaks my heart. 

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the forecast which seems very distant to me today, but with a ten-year-old grandson, I know it will be here before I am ready. Great grandmothering seems to be grandmothering once removed. All the love and enjoyment but none of the responsibility?

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  2. Michele, I loved this post not only for the book review but for all you shared. It is a most wonderful experience to share mothering and now, grandparenting, with others. Especially you 🙂 This >> “Grandmothering is a gift of second chances. It’s the opportunity to redeem imperfect relationships and make the best of what life has sent our way.” I have been so grateful for this gift of second chances and for the opportunity to come alongside of my daughter and daughter-in-law as they navigate motherhood. I only pray and hope I do so with grace and love mixed with doses of encouragement.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Michele, thanks for this!

    Our third grandchild is expected this summer and your thoughts about your two grandmothers and your own experiences deeply resonated. How delighted I was to then read your review of So God Made A Grandma, because my essay “The Secret Life of Grandmas” is contained there. I hope many others will get to read and experience all the affirming, touching stories held in that book.

    As always, thank you very much—I appreciate your teachings and words of wisdom!

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  5. This sounds like a great resource. One of my grandmothers died when I was four, so I don’t have much memory of her. But I got to travel with my other grandmother and spend the night with her when she lived nearby, both of us staying up late to read.

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  6. Hi Michele, Thank you for this relatable post. In recent years and especially since becoming a grandma I have realized more and more the influence my grandmas had on my life. I only hope I can do as well. Thanks for the book recommendation. Can’t wait to get my hands on it.

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  7. I am so happy God led me to reading your post this morning, Michele (I’m visiting via #Let’s Have Coffee). Grandmothering is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given me and your post also reminded me of the full circle nature of it all. I was raised in a 3 generation household from the time my grandparents came to live with our family when I was eleven. My grandmother lived with my parents until she passed at the age of 93 and the depth of our relationship is something I’ll always treasure. I ordered the book and can’t wait to read it. I have a feelng I’ll be sharing/gifting it to other fellow Grands. Thank you!

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  8. This looks like a great book for grandmothers! Grandmothering, like mothering, continues to evolve as grandchildren grow,and I’m continually learning how to be a more loving grandmother as they grow and their needs and view of me change. Each grandchild is different, and so relationships must adjust! Thanks for highlighting this book!

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  10. It sounds like a beautiful book. What an awesome life experience it must have been to be able to grow up with a grandmother in your home. I never really knew my grandparents. One set died before I was born, and the other side I wasn’t allowed to visit.

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  11. Like you, we burst upon my grandmother, too, when I was five and lived with her (along with my mom) until I married. While she was artistic in her home-making, she didn’t plan fun, creative art projects and activities to keep us busy or engaged. She stopped driving when I was six and my mother didn’t drive for about three/four more years. However, we were young in days when backyards were big with trees for climbing – learned to make our own amusements – in ways that wouldn’t earn her censure. We definitely learned how to fill the pausing places through our own imaginations or books. I help watch my grands, and I’m trying to teach them how to live in the pausing places, too – with dashes of creativity and fun. Grandmother’s are priceless!

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  12. Grandmothering is such a joy-filled privilege and precious opportunity to leave an influential legacy. Both of my grandmothers provided examples of faith, the fruit of the Spirit in action, generosity, fun, and more. I want to do the same for our grandchildren!

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