For a minute, I was puzzled. The bright blue Post-It Note in my planner had a phone number in my own spidery handwriting, along with the words “FIRST CALL” in bold capital letters. Realization landed first in the pit of my stomach. These were hospice contacts for our friend Jeanette, who passed away in our home back in December.
The information is out of date and unnecessary now, but I have yet to toss it into the trash. For some reason, it feels like my last link to Jeanette’s final year of life, the cancer, the appointments, the reminders about pain medication and rest. I don’t wish her back into a sick body, but I do wish her back into my family and into our Thanksgiving dinner guest list this coming November. I miss her no-nonsense wisdom and the reassurance that she was praying for us and our kids. (Maybe she still is?)
My puzzled response to the Post-It Note is a fitting parallel to the puzzling path of grief. Who would have thought that I’d still be processing the loss of a very sick 82-year-old friend almost eight months after her death?
We could call the journey of grief a pilgrimage, but with no clear destination or defined route, grief is more accurately a peregrination. It’s a path of unknowing in which the destination is less important than the journey. The spiritual practice of peregrination dates back to a 6th-century Irish monk, Brendan the Voyager, who took off on long treks throughout Northern Europe with no clear plan, believing that God the Holy Spirit would direct his course.
We could call the journey of grief a pilgrimage, but with no clear destination or defined route, grief is more accurately a peregrination. It’s a path of unknowing in which the destination is less important than the journey
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Hope Beyond Our Sorrows
I’m indebted to April Yamasaki for this connection between grief and peregrination. Her latest book, Hope Beyond Our Sorrows, is the fruitful outcome of her own grief work following the tragic death of her husband, whom she endearingly refers to as “my Dearheart” throughout the book.
The freshness of her own loss and her courageous decision to bear witness to God’s goodness and mercy amid her pain have enabled her to speak hope that has nothing to do with sugar-coated platitudes. Her deeply helpful use of scripture in her writing serves as an invitation to her readers to step into the language of lament as they pour their sorrow into the ears of the God who hears.
Yamasaki urges those who are living with life-changing loss to be patient with themselves and to take grace for all their contradictory feelings and chronic disorientation. In fact, the book is a great resource for friends who are supporting someone through grief. Honoring the loss pushes back against our tendency to rush fellow believers through their mourning.
Still walking the peregrinating path of loss, she writes, “Grief and broken dreams are not the end of the story for any of us. God binds up the brokenhearted. God redeems the brokenness of this world and makes a new creation. We have that hope now and for the future, bound up in the mystery and power of Jesus’s life, death, resurrection, and ascension.”
What Other Reviewers Are Saying
“I have learned that the only way through grief is through. April lays out a unique, hopeful path to healing and wholeness in the now and not yet.”– ―DORINA LAZO GILMORE-YOUNG, author of Redeemer: God’s Lovingkindness in the Book of Ruth and Breathing Through Grief: A Devotional Journal for Seasons of Loss
“Hope Beyond Our Sorrows is the compassionate companion we all need while navigating life after loss. April Yamasaki’s reflections are honest, acknowledging the pain of grief rather than trying to explain it away. Her advice is helpful, offering gentle ways to process different aspects of sorrow. And her posture is still full of hope, reminding us that in Christ, ‘grief and broken dreams are not the end of the story.’ The tender kindness she exudes through her writing makes this book a must-read for those grappling with different types of loss, as well as those who want to better support those who mourn.”– ―KENDRA BROEKHUIS, author of the novels Between You and Us and Nearly Beloved
Holding You in the Light,
In Hope Beyond Our Sorrows, April Yamasaki affirms, “We have hope now and for the future, bound up in the mystery and power of Jesus’s life, death, resurrection, and ascension.” @SacredPauses @Herald_Press
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Thank you for this review. I also lost my first husband and a book like this was badly needed. I know it will comfort many.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
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So sorry for YOUR loss, and appreciative of your testimony of faithfulness.
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Sending you hugs Michele as you grieve your friend. Grief is unique for each person.
blessings, Jennifer
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So true, Jennifer! Thank you!
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My first experience with deep grief occurred decades ago when I lost a friend to a car accident. She lay in a coma for a week; hundreds, maybe thousands prayed for her healing. The fact our prayers were not answered caused deep disappointment, adding to my grief. God ministered to me during that time, leading me to Romans 11:33-36. Fifteen years later I began sharing about this experience at a retreat, and tears of grief spilled again. Who knew that “chronic disorientation” could last so long? I certainly didn’t. Thank God for April who has brought purpose out of her pain with this helpful, grace-filled book. And thank you, Michele, for sharing it with us.
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Exactly! Grief sneaks up on us in such unpredictable ways. We can’t tame it on our own, but we can live with its effects as we put our trust in the one who carries our griefs.
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Grief shows up in the most unexpected ways, often at the most inopportune times. I let it come, let it flow. It could be a piece of music, a scent, a date, a photograph. Jesus wept. I feel like we’re in good company as we do the same.
And we honor those who we lament by talking about them like you have done today with Jeanette. How blessed she was to have you by her side during that final season.
May your memories be rich and sweet, friend.
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I know this is a well-trodden path for you. Thanks for leaving a trail.
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I have experience with grief from a chronic pain condition, but I am now learning a very different grieving process from the loss of our daughter this year. This looks like a great book.
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Oh, what a heartbreaking loss. Thank you for reassuring us that even in this you are turning your face toward God.
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This looks wonderful!
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