One summer day, I listened to hard words from a dear woman I had loved and admired for nearly twenty years. We were seated in her small room in a nursing home. My grandson was exploring every nook, cranny, and light switch (and eating one of the cookies we had brought for her!), and I asked her how she liked her new home.
“It’s hard,” she said. “They’re good to me here, but I’m at the end of my life. It’s hard to realize… emotionally.”
The words hung in the air, and I wanted to deny them, to beautify them with a neat little bow of comfort and joy. But that would not be fair, because she is right. At ninety-plus, she is unsteady and unable to care for herself or live in her own home.
This is hard. She is nearing the end of her life. So I was quiet and nodded, waiting for her to go on, and she did, sharing some of her concerns, repeating herself, and circling back around. But then, she stopped and smiled and touched my grandson’s small hand, declaring:
“I have wonderful memories.”
My sweet friend has come to the point in her life when looking back is so much more satisfying and encouraging than looking ahead. I can identify. Navigating life with Parkinson’s disease, knowing that it is relentlessly degenerative and that I will not be aging as gracefully as I had envisioned, it’s tempting to blot out any thought of the future, to focus on a more glorious and vigorous past.
However…
I’ve been challenged by Christine Caine’s new book to be careful, to look with suspicion upon this self-protective strategy. In Don’t Look Back, the story of Lot’s wife becomes a cautionary tale for those tempted to look back, to live in a more lovely past, to reject a change we didn’t see coming.
Although Lot’s wife is an unnamed character in the Bible, when she takes the stage for a chaotic moment in Genesis 19, we find her running from the God-ordained destruction of her hometown of Sodom. And in case we’re tempted to write the story off as unimportant Old Testment lore, the words of Jesus put a stop to our hubris:
Remember Lot’s wife.”
Luke 17:32
Why?
Well, she looked back when she was told not to. And her body turned into salt–a preservative, and a startling image for someone who has become stuck in the past, committed to preserving a time gone by.
In #DontLookBack by @ChristineCaine, the story of Lot’s wife becomes a cautionary tale for those tempted to look back, to live in a more lovely past, to reject a change we didn’t see coming. @ThomasNelson
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Believers are called into a delicate balancing act–to learn from our past, even to mourn the end of an era without becoming stuck there. Christine Caine shares her own story as reassurance that she’s writing from personal experience. I came away from the book with three vivid images of hope to encourage YOU in your longings and to help you fight the temptation to linger in the past when life is going forward all around you:
1. God is holding your hand.
The angels of the Lord who were sent to rescue Lot and his family, in an act of mercy, “seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand” (Genesis 19:16). Even on unfamiliar territory, God has not abandoned you, and he will continue to meet you in the pages of Scripture, in the wisdom of godly friends, and in the unfolding circumstances of your life–if you will choose to see.
If you’re facing an unwanted change, God has not abandoned you. What evidence can you spot today that God is holding your hand through the change?
2. When one season ends, a new season begins.
Transition is hard, and Caine gives full permission (if you need it) to mourn the death of dreams, hopes, plans, goals, relationships, and expectations. And then she shares that “in all the transitions I’ve lived through, I’ve learned that just because something has died, God’s promises, plans, and purposes for my life have not. In fact they are still very much alive.”
It takes a muscular faith to look for resurrection in the place that feels like death. Christine offers the gift of words, a borrowed prayer to get us started along the road to acceptance: “God, I recognize that I am stuck, looking back and longing for _______________________. I want to be free in you and free for you. Please give me the grace, by your Spirit and in your strength, to take steps I need to take to get unstuck and move forward, with bold faith, into the future you have for me.”
3. We can view change as an interruption or as an invitation.
We get to choose.
I don’t know what life in Sodom was like for Lot’s wife. I’m sure relocation was not on her list for that particular day, but that became the game plan, and she resisted. Jesus urges us to remember so that we can do better.
I confess to a certain curiosity about my own future on my better days. Knowing that God is sovereign and good, how will he put that on display for my family as he equips me for life with a chronic illness? How will God intervene to teach patience and endurance to a woman who has lived most of her life with hair aflame?
What feels like an interruption to my well-laid plans may just be an invitation to something I could never have envisioned on my own.
And How About You?
What changes tempt you to long for the past, to live in hopes of things getting “back to normal again,” when normal has moved on and won’t be back? How can this community of readers pray for you today?
Holding You in the Light,
“In all the transitions I’ve lived through, I’ve learned that just because something has died, God’s promises, plans and purposes for my life have not. In fact they are still very much alive.” #DontLookBack @ChristineCaine @ThomasNelson
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Living Our Days 
I think it’s wonderful you take your grandchildren when you visit, especially the elderly. Well said Michele. I can always pull something from your writings th
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Glad to be in this grandmothering life with you!
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transitions are hard, change can be a bit scary. especially in this season where our bodies are beginning to fail and fade and malfunction.
and i so agree, Michele. let’s avoid ‘a neat little bow of comfort and joy’ tied on to every situation we encounter. we were never called to be Pollyanna. but we are called to faith and trust in His promises, His character, His awesome lovingkindness.
and that will be enough.
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I think we leave room for the ministry of the Spirit too, when we don’t go rushing into a conversation with our quick fix sentences.
May we grow more convinced of His enough-ness every day we live!
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Great lessons from the sad story of Mrs Lot. Looking for God’ mercies today. Maybe that’s the key to unlocking peace for tomorrow. Muscular faith helps too.
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I was so intrigued by Christine Caine’s digging into this little known lady’s life! I’ve written her off as disobedient and never given a thought to all the motives behind her actions.
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Michele: You have good points in this post. I find myself remembering things from my past especially when I can’t sleep at night. Just this morning, I read an obituary of a sister/sister-in-law of a couple who were killed in a car wreck back in the 1970s, The obituary mentioned the couple’s only daughter who survived the car wreck. A lot of good thoughts came to my mind. Peace and blessings to you and yours.
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Yes, our memories can be a real comfort–and a source of instruction for us! It’s only when we get stuck in the past and refuse to move on into the good future God has planned for us that we need to assess exactly what our posture toward the past has become.
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Michele, I don’t think it’s all bad to “Look back”, some lessons and memories are worth re-visiting like your friend in the nursing home. I think only when we look back from a posture of escape, or refusing to accept where God is leading do we need to correct.
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I agree 100%. There are certain lessons we can only learn by looking in the rear view mirror and consulting with our former selves. It’s only when we get stuck in the past or use it as a means of refusing the future God has planned for us that we need to assess our motives.
Thanks for that point of clarification! Our memories are indeed precious.
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You can’t see me, but I’m nodding along as I read your description of this unwanted change in your life. My dear man was diagnosed with PD almost 10 years ago and consequently his career was unwilling ended at a young age. We’ve been learning gradually and consistently to accept a new normal. It’s been hard! I agree with your friend. But we’ve found joy, fulfillment and even excitement in the midst of tears and pain.
Thank you for writing your story and sharing with the rest of us.
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Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. It absorbs is a life changing condition and I have said that it feels like a part time job. Even so, we know for sure that God is in charge of all the circumstances of our lives and he will equip us for the challenges.
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A rather poignant post, MM. It would be very, very sad if we did not have the hope of heaven. Love you, SS.
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SS, I appreciate your heavenly focus, my friend! MM
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It would be lovely to get to the (earthly) place that it is our only focus!
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I’ve never known normal. I’d like to move forward but people won’t allow me to.
Memories have their place in life. Depending upon the perspective, they can be good or bad. Consider one with a photographic memory. I can remember childhood experiences, trauma, that over time was buried deep in my subconscious and forgotten, until I got saved, joined a church, and was in the midst of confusion, chaos, and a church split. Brought back a lot of sorrow and sadness.
On the other hand, Jesus tells us “…But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you…” He helps tremendously.
But sometimes there is a real tug of war. I certainly don’t want to be like Lot’s wife.
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It sounds as if your eyes are focused on the future. I’m sorry that you have so much to process…
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Oh, Michele. I LOVE the truth that we can view change as an interruption or an invitation. May I be better about viewing change as an invitation rather than an unwanted interruption to life as I want it. Instead, I choose the best life God has for me.
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I wish I could say that I always respond to changes with positive anticipation—but I am learning and trusting!
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In very different ways than you, I have been so guilty of this lately. Thank you for the encouragement.
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So good to know that the post connected with you!
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Michele, This post was so timely because a dear friend was let go recently as the secretary at her church after many years there. She’s so sad about this change but I’ll be sharing with the truth about viewing this interruption as an invitation. Thank you.
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Oh, what a blow! I will certainly pray that your friend’s heart will heal and that the content of my article alongside the truth of Scripture will be comforting and motivating.
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I don’t think I’ve read any books by Christine Caine but this sounds like a good one. I love how you said you have a certain amount of curiosity about your future, and that it stems from God’s goodness and sovereignty. I’m not dealing with a chronic illness, but I’m trying to approach the coming empty nest with a similar curiosity. I’d love to have it all planned out, but right now, the assignment seems to be more along the lines of sailing under sealed orders, one step at a time. What a comfort to know that God is going ahead of all of us, no matter what our futures entail.
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What a picturesque way of expressing the unknown—sealed orders! It’s true that we don’t know what the future will bring, but we do know who wrote those sealed orders!
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