Celebrating Grandparent’s Day–We “Get” to Be Grandparents!

Sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize that I’m actually a grandmother, but for almost nine years, I have answered to the name “Bam.” I’ve discovered that my grandmothering is of a different sort than my mothering. I’m less anxious, more optimistic.

Even so, I think I pray for this round of Morins more diligently than I prayed for my own children. Is it because I believe more fiercely in the importance of prayer or because I am more conscious of the evils of this age?

If you are also a grandparent, Happy Grandparent’s Day to you. There’s no question that Grandparent’s Day comes to us with less angst and baggage than Mother’s Day (or some of the other Hallmark holidays). However, for some grandparents, broken relationships or family dysfunction has given you cause for mourning today, and my heart breaks for you.

We “Get” to be Grandparents

Maybe that’s why, as a grandmother in training, I’m reluctant to give advice lest anyone surmise that I imagine I’ve arrived, but…I do occasionally offer tiny suggestions to people. So in honor of Grandparent’s Day, I will share three tiny suggestions for being and becoming a godly grandmother. After all, it IS a privilege. We “get” to be grandparents!

(I’m sharing a grandchild-approved recipe, too, so be sure to read all the way to the end!)

3 Pro-Tips from a grandmother in training: 1)Get to know your grandchild. 2)Get REAL! 3)Get behind their parents. We get to be grandparents!

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1. Get to Know Your Grandchild

Your grandchild is not a carbon copy of your child–or your child-in-law, or you, or your spouse, or his uncle Joe. Your job as a grandparent with limited time and, probably, limited access to this tiny person is to pay attention. Listen. And then listen some more.

Listen to the stories she tells and ask questions to draw her out.
“Oh, so it was the red shirt?”
“Why do you think he said that to you?”

Keep looking for evidence of his strengths, and then create situations that put those strengths on display. If he likes to bake with you but needs help with his reading, start your visit by giving him a special recipe card and encourage him to make his own copy of the recipe to take home. Celebrate his ability to read and interpret the ingredients and the method—and then let him wow you with his over-the-top skill in the kitchen!

2. Get Real!

Kids make a mess. They track in dirt. They scatter from Dan to Beersheba all the carefully curated educational toys in Bam’s Toy Closet.

They pick your flowers. They spill their milk. Cooking with their “help” takes three times as long and produces four times the chaos in your kitchen.

Do it all anyway.
And believe it or not, this is our grandchildren’s gift to us. We get kicked out of the center of our universe. We are prevented from seeing our brittle, little world as the most important thing.

We receive the gift of being reminded that our new leather furniture (purchased after the youngest child graduated and moved out) is not nearly as important as that little cookie eater who left scattered crumbs as her farewell present after the last visit.

We receive the gift of flexibility. We learn that we can’t go into any project with the expectation of a perfect product. If the grandkids get tired of doing a craft, put it aside and finish it later. (Ask me about the custom-made walking sticks on the picnic table!)

I had more energy and my life was more oriented toward child care when my own children lived in this house. I had a lot more time to give to the job, but I had a lot less patience.

3. Get Behind Their Parents

My husband (“Bamp”) and I remember what it was like when someone we knew and respected (and more importantly, someone our kids knew and respected) would speak Truth into our kids’ lives. They were saying the same thing we were saying, but somehow, a different voice made it more compelling. I want to give THAT gift to my kids now, to reinforce the biblical worldview that’s being taught in their homes, to make scriptural principles come alive here on the ground, and to play whatever role God allows me to play in shepherding my grandkids’ hearts.

The hospitable question for grandmothers and grandfathers to ask is, “How can I meet a need here?” Is the mum worn out and in need of a few hours of solitude? Has it been weeks since the parents have had a date or even sat in the same vehicle?

If we listen without judgment and avoid offering unsolicited advice, we may earn the right to be a safe venting place for our kids when living under the same roof with their kids (our perfect grandchildren!) has become a chore. We get to reassure them that they are NOT the worst parents in the world. Our experience and our distance from ground zero help us to convince them that maybe it’s not necessary to freak out (over the very things we freaked out about with our firstborn…).

Grandparents get to reassure their kids that they are NOT the worst parents in the world. Experience helps us to convince them that maybe it’s not necessary to freak out (over the very things we freaked out about with our firstborn…)

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If you’re a grandparent, congratulations! The Proverbs say, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,” and because “the aged” comes from the book of Proverbs we can be sure the writer was referring to older people who have lived not merely a long time but have spent those years on the path of wisdom.

A crown is a reward, something to be proud of, and there’s certainly no greater reward than a godly legacy in which one generation follows another on the path of righteousness. Of course, this is all of grace. We can’t bestow salvation or a righteous life on our kids or our grandkids—but we can live every day with our eyes on that crown, trusting God for grace to live well before our grandchildren’s eyes, trusting Him to carry us and the generations that follow in “paths of righteousness.”

We “get” to be grandparents. For His name’s sake. For His glory.

Holding You in the Light,

P.S. For your next sleepover with the grands, surprise them with this very easy breakfast treat! Be sure to have Bisquick in your pantry, or be like me and have this Easy Biscuit Mix all made up ahead by combining 5 cups flour, 2 1/2 Tablespoons baking powder, 2 Tablespoons sugar, and 1 cup shortening. This will keep for a long time at room temperature or the leftovers can be frozen if you’d rather.

My Grandkids’ Favorite (and Very Easy) Danish Recipe

2 cups Bisquick (or my Easy Biscuit Mix above)
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 Tablespoons sugar
2/3 cup milk
Your grandkids’ favorite jam flavor (The recipe says 1/4 cup, but I use MUCH more!)

For the Vanilla Drizzle:
2/3 cup powdered sugar
1 Tablespoon warm water (to begin with–sometimes it takes more to get a drizzly consistency)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray.
Combine biscuit mix, butter, granulated sugar until crumbly.
Stir in milk until dough forms and then beat for 15-ish strokes.
Drop dough by rounded tablespoons (I use my big cookie scoop which holds 2 Tablespoons) about 2 inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheet. Make a shallow well in the center of each using the back of a spoon dipped in cold water. Fill each hollow with jam.
Bake 10-15 minutes or until golden brown.
In the meantime, prepare the vanilla drizzle, combining ingredients until smooth and drizzly.
Drizzle onto danishes, but let them cool a bit first.
Yield: 10-12 danishes

Happy #GrandparentsDay! We can’t bestow salvation or a righteous life on our grandkids—but we can trust God for grace to live well before their eyes, trusting Him to carry us and generations that follow in “paths of righteousness.”

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