It's Spring-Forward Sunday! Will You Be Late For Church?

It’s Spring-Forward Sunday! Will You Be Late For Church?

Slightly hard of hearing in his Sunday suit and tie, the smiling usher boomed a greeting into the cold and cavernous narthex.

“You forgot to set your clocks ahead, right?”

Immediately, the disjointed pieces of that chaotic Sunday morning fell into place. The full parking lot, the prevailing hush — yes, we were an hour late for church, which meant we had arrived just in time for the sermon conclusion and the last amen. Wearing our awkwardness like ill-fitting choir robes, we exited as discretely as two people wearing dress shoes can manage in an echoing church entryway, and we rode in silence across town to our tiny apartment on Middle Street—an address that had become an accurate and stinging summary of our entire lives in that season.

A career change for my husband had put our workplaces over two hours apart. Even so, we’d cheerfully split the difference and settled in neutral territory exactly halfway between, telling ourselves it was temporary and a good test of our independence within this new marriage of ours. No friends, no family, and no church ties anchored us in this new home base, but we were optimistic, so . . .

Let the church hunt begin!

Throughout that autumn and winter, we visited a dizzying array of Sunday morning worship services. We sat on cushioned pews and on folding chairs. We sang 90s-era praise choruses and traditional anthems from tattered hymnals. We visited churches where we came and went unnoticed and unwelcomed, and we cringed under the scrutiny of probing questions about our “intentions” and hints that it was time for us to join and get busy.

By the time of our early spring visit to The Church of the Booming Narthex, we had worn ourselves pretty thin. More and more often, we would open our eyes on Sunday morning and say, “Let’s go visit your folks this weekend.” We wanted to worship in a place that felt like home, but the process seemed endless and hopeless.

Finding community can be a long and challenging process, but the rewards are worth the wait.

Fast forward to the present moment, and that season of uprootedness reads like a story out of someone else’s life. Furthermore, the past twenty years of joyful ministry and membership with a loving church family could easily put me in the judgment seat over this tale of a young, newly married couple playing “church roulette” for over a year. Thankfully, the memory of Middle Street living has endured, and it keeps me from wagging my bony church-lady finger.

Yes, we probably were looking for the “perfect church,” and yes, we definitely had commitment issues, but even in those pre-Google, search-the-yellow-pages days, there was nothing simple about cold canvassing a city and its surrounding area for a friendly and compatible church. It’s far too easy to get caught in a never-ending research phase or to cave in to pressure to “hurry up and settle.” I wish we had made a very short list of non-negotiables and that we had been more aware of the masterful way God uses imperfect people and places in His process of conforming us toward the perfect image of His Son.

Those endless months of Sunday morning upheaval were foundational to my desire today to be the one who extends the welcome, however imperfectly. Scribbling names in my planner when I meet someone new at church sometimes helps me to remember them, but I still might greet repeat visitors as if they were new. (No one has ever complained.) I want to pay attention, be available, respect boundaries, and most of all, I never want to forget what it felt like to be rootless.

We really do need each other in our living out of “the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.” Christians who are living in the on-ramp toward faithful church attendance and those of us who are standing along the way cheering them forward are both in a unique position to put the beauty and uniqueness of God’s love on display. Finding community can be a long and challenging process, but the rewards are worth the wait.

Robert Frost wrote a poem in which he calls home “the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Because I have been “taken in” so faithfully, it’s now a joy to persevere in the work of making my own church home feel like home to others. Community is the sandpaper by which we find ourselves continually being re-made and re-formed, for the truth of the gospel is best understood in terms of our yearning to belong, our struggle with homesickness, and the ache of all our longings for home.

Holding You in the Light,

The truth of the gospel is best understood in terms of our yearning to belong, our struggle with homesickness, and the ache of all our longings for home. #church

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18 thoughts on “It’s Spring-Forward Sunday! Will You Be Late For Church?”

  1. One of the delights of our church home is the friendliness of everyone. When we first arrived, I wondered how they’d fostered that attitude and kept it going. Then when we attended the new-members’ class, the pastor said something like, “I trust you received a warm welcome when you arrived. We just ask that you help us keep it going.” That was it! But I’d want toI DO want to extend a warm welcome anyway, so others can experience the warmth of fellowship, support, and encouragement our church offers. P.S. I jot down names of new acquaintances too, Michele–in my sermon-notes journal!

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    1. “Keep it going!”
      What an invitation, and I love the subtle caution of the phrase—in other words, if you have aspirations for making this place all about you… No thank you!

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  2. I don’t have a trick for remembering names when I meet people, and I’m not outgoing enough to make a beeline for anyone at church that I think is a visitor, but when I do greet people I do my best to make them feel that we’re delighted to have them and that they are safe and welcome. I remember my own crushing loneliness and anxiety when we moved and were looking for a church home and how long it took for me – as an empty nester adult – to feel like I belonged and had something to offer. That’s a blessing I want to give to others.

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  3. Michelle,

    Thanks so much for stopping by!! over 25 years ago, we did the same church hunt and I am happy that we settled n the church that we did as we found so many kind people there that became good friends…I was so grateful for that as my husband passed away last year after only a 5 week illness. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that spread to the liver on April 1st and died on April 16th…My church family wrapped their arms around me as I dealt with this unexpected loss and our priest , Father Alex, was such a blessing to my whole family…I hope all is well with you!

    Hugs,
    Deb

    Debbie-Dabble blog

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  4. It can be really difficult and nerve-wracking to visit around trying to find a new church. There’s such an unsettled and unanchored feeling til we find our home base.

    I try to remember that feeling when greeting new people at church. I kind of have to make myself do it–it doesn’t come naturally to me. But I supposed much of the Christian life is not what comes naturally. 🙂

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    1. Exactly! Remembering the discomfort helps me to overcome my reluctance to greet new visitors. And brain research tells me that there’s a part of my brain that gets stronger whenever I do something I don’t want to do, so I’m all in for that!

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  5. I can remember trying out various churches with my father and step-mother… but I honestly can’t remember if we ever settled on one (I only saw him a few times a month so it wasn’t really “my” church). I do remember feeling quite welcomed in almost all of the ones we tried out.

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    1. I remember being really glad that we had settled down in a church by the time our kids were old enough to notice such things. I’m sure that the church hunt would have been so much more complicated with littles in tow!

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  6. We’ve been in that situation several times as we’ve moved around or ended an interim ministry. It’s hard, and I appreciated hearing about your experience. We’ve had many of those same questions!

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