6 Best Practices For Making Good Decisions

Every week, we make thousands of decisions, some routine and some monumental. It almost always boils down to a simple yes or no—but for the person sitting in the hot seat, the call often seems anything but simple. Sensing a market to exploit, the internet overflows with books on decision making, oracle cards, and even yes/no wheels to help consumers completely randomize their decision-making process.

Often, the choice isn’t black or white. Scripture does not speak to the specifics of accepting ministry or business opportunities, whether to buy a particular house, or whether to homeschool your children. When the pro/con chart is perfectly balanced, friends are noncommittal, and it seems as if God is going to leave the choice up to us, a coin toss feels like the most reasonable next step.

Nevertheless, put the coin back in your pocket and take a breath.

Every week, we make thousands of decisions, both routine and monumental. It almost always boils down to a simple yes or no—but for the person sitting in the hot seat, the call often seems anything but simple.

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When Solomon advised his son, “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore, get wisdom.
And in all your getting, get understanding,” he had in mind a level of insight that would lead to maturity and godly living. God is not honored when we treat him like a Ouija Board or a Magic 8 Ball.

The spiritual practice of making good decisions has at its foundation a vital, seven-day-per-week relationship with God. Returning to Romans, Paul assumes that his readers will have handed themselves over to God as the only “reasonable” way to live, that they are in the process of being “transformed by the renewing of their minds.”

Clearly, this is spiritual work, and I may be the last person who should be writing about decision-making and the will of God. My track record includes agonizing over every used car purchase, and if the truth is told, there are days when I’m still pretty sure I picked the wrong college major. Certainly, my ears are open to solid advice for making choices, and I will happily share some of that distilled wisdom:

1. There are good noes and sacrificial yeses.

Reality here on the ground means that I will sometimes say yes to something that feels like a little death. I may not be especially gifted for it or excited about it, but I am a grown-up, and I can do hard things.

The flip side of this occurs when I say no to something that appears to be wonderful, but would get in the way of my primary responsibilities—or simply is not mine to do. Not all delightful options are an automatic yes, and not all distasteful options are an automatic no. Wise choices require discernment, self-knowledge, and sometimes even self-denial.

2. Decide on your non-negotiables in advance.

If you have decided in advance that you will not marry someone who doesn’t share your faith, should you form a close relationship with an unbelieving man?

If I have decided in advance that my family is my first priority, I’m going to be careful that ministry or career opportunities don’t consume all my time and energy.

If I’ve made a commitment to daily scripture and prayer, and it’s being crowded out by other things, it’s time to say “no” to something.

When the will of God is clear on a matter, and we insist on treating it on a case-by-case basis, we’re squandering emotional energy on decisions that could be filtered through a wiser grid. Too, when God has said, “Others can, but you may not,” we have our marching orders.

3. Sober judgment takes time to develop. You will make some mistakes.

We practice making decisions on “little” things. When we feel the Spirit’s nudge, we pay attention and send the gift card, make the phone call, or apologize to someone we’ve wronged. This strengthens our obedience muscle and teaches us to ask, “Does this prompting line up with the character of God?”

Small acts of obedience are preparation for bigger decisions that require more discernment. I’m still making mistakes, and I’m still learning from them. (And even if I did pick the “wrong” college major, God continues to be sovereign even over that misstep!)

4. Ask for input, feedback, and prayer.

Sometimes our families and friends know us and see us in ways that are oblique to us. While we have to avoid the temptation to make decisions by referendum, there is absolutely great value in the input of a trustworthy advisor.

5. Every yes is a no to something else.

We are finite creatures. Only God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. Our phones may lead us to believe otherwise.

Several years ago, I made the decision to downsize my planner. (Yes, I still use a paper planner for all my appointments, my daily to-do list, shopping list, and even my blogging schedule.) When the small box of a day is full, I have to either postpone or say no to anything else.

An over-full schedule can feel very heroic and even exciting, but I’ve learned that when my calendar is too full, I start losing and misplacing things, and my nature defaults to being chronically impatient and short-tempered.

6. Make room for nuance whenever you make decisions.

There’s an internet aphorism making the rounds that goes roughly like this: “If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no.” I wish life were that simple, but sometimes we have to weigh the situation or consider the context.

Even the writer of Proverbs was nuanced in his advice for handling interactions with a foolish friend. Proverbs 26:4 tells us:

Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”

But wait! Read on to verse 5:

Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

So, do we answer or not?
Clearly, my right response will depend on who “the fool” is, the specific folly, and the nature of the relationship. God did not give us a black-and-white world, but he did send his Spirit into this world and into our hearts, carrying the gift of nuance and sweet reasonableness.

Do you have best practices to add to this list?
What decision-making wisdom is working for you in your “your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life”? I hope you’ll share it in the comments.

Thank you for accompanying me on this year-long deep dive into the meaning and purpose of wisdom. You can see all my Get Wisdom posts for 2025 here!

Holding You in the Light,

The spiritual practice of making good decisions has at its foundation a vital, seven-day-per-week relationship with God. Clearly, this is spiritual work.

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