At some point, Christians began using the word deconstruction to describe what might once have been called a crisis of faith or even, in some circles, backsliding. The dismantling of a person’s understanding of God and what it means to believe is a complex process, and the deconstructing Christian may end up leaving the faith altogether.
No one is immune from questions and doubts. Often a period of intense suffering or a significant disappointment will trigger a dismantling process. The question that plagues me like a pebble in the shoe, however, is this:
Why does the faith of some people survive loss and disillusionment while others crash and burn?
At the risk of oversimplification, I think we underestimate God’s patience and love, while at the same time overestimating the weight of our doubts and disillusionment. God is big enough to walk with us through the wreckage of our dismantling.
His invitation reveals that he is mindful of our creaturely weakness and confusion: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Whatever has triggered the wrestling, wisdom dictates that we sort through the shattered debris of our faith with God beside us rather than turning our back on God and trying to figure it out on our own.
Doubt and disillusionment become a reason to press on to know the Lord, to discover the vast landscape of his nature. Reconstructed faith will be stronger and deeper because it has been based on the character of God.
Doubt and disillusionment become a reason to press on to know the Lord, to discover the vast landscape of his nature. Reconstructed faith will be stronger and deeper because it has been based on the character of God.
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When I agreed to review Shooting Up by Jonathan Tepper, I was fairly certain I had the plot figured out: a struggling missionary kid becomes disillusioned with his parents’ fanatical devotion to ministry and ends up adopting a more “progressive” theological stance or abandoning his faith altogether—maybe even becoming a drug addict himself.
I was pleased to be wrong.
The Teppers were, indeed, missionaries to the drug-addicted community of Madrid, Spain during the onset of the AIDS epidemic. They served with zeal, and they endured numerous hardships and significant heartbreak. Jonathan, their second of four sons, did struggle with his parents’ rules and the brutal hardships of their chosen life, but he also knew that he “lived in a household where God talked back. [His] parents and God spoke to each other often.”
After planting Betel church in the city, the Teppers went on to establish a drug rehabilitation program and to install themselves as fixtures among the people, fighting heroin one addict at a time and supporting the addicts’ families as needed. Jonathan Tepper recalls, “The story of my family and of Betel is of fixing broken things and loving those who are hurting. It is in the brokenness that we find redemption, turning pain into beauty.”
The memoir paints a realistic and often bleak but never cynical picture of Tepper’s childhood as a missionary kid on a mission field that would have been the undoing of a family seeking its rewards this side of heaven. Despite the high cost of service, the story abounds with gleaming examples of lives transformed through the influence of a thriving faith community.
Passing out flyers to heroin addicts and watching his dearest friends succumb to the AIDS epidemic in Madrid, Jonathan Tepper shares his memoir of persevering faith. @infinitebooks
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Holding You in the Light,
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This seven-day devotional plan affirms that perseverance is so much more than simply hanging on. Those who follow Jesus Christ are familiar with the dogged patience of waiting, because we have read the words of Scripture about eternal rewards for those who endure. So we persevere—sometimes just because God has commanded us to. When the newness wears off, when we don’t feel like it, when everything just feels too hard, we press on, and we press in to Christ. He is the prize.
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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, which means that whenever you purchase a book I’ve shared here through the link I provide, I’ll receive a very small commission. It doesn’t cost you more, and I only share books here that I can wholeheartedly recommend.
Many thanks to Infinite Books and NetGalley for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which is, of course, offered freely and with honesty.
I always appreciate your book recommendations, Michele. I’m visiting from Joanne’s today.
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So nice to hear from you!
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I will admit, I have struggled with that term, “deconstruction”, for a while. I have doubted God, argued with God, given Him suggestions, and through all of that, He remained God alone. He used those times to grow me up in the faith, showing me Who He was, and that He alone was trustworthy and good. This sounds like a thought-provoking and encouraging book.
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I love the way you said that, Joanne. It’s so galvanizing to hold onto the reality that God is not afraid of our unbelief!
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I wanted to just clarify my statement above. While I struggled with the term, I did not deconstruct my faith in God. I struggle with the term as I have wondered if it has become the term used instead of admitting a backsliding or straying from God. Even in the times I questioned God, He always had a firm grip on me, for which I will forever be grateful.
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Yes, thank you for the clarification. I knew what you meant, but clarity is definitely kindness.
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This sounds like an interesting read. I’ve spent the last month reading Job. He had lots of questions about his suffering. But he never doubted God’s existence. He wanted God’s perspective. And God blessed him for his honesty and devotion. God can handle our honest confusion. He understands our limited perspective. To shut Him out when we’re in pain doesn’t make much sense once you’ve met Him.
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I read this book, Debbie, right before I picked up your new book, and I have to say, they were very companionable. Whether we’re trusting God with our need to forgive someone or trusting God with some aspect of our faith that seems challenging, we can’t do it if we don’t know him as he has revealed himself in Scripture.
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Stories of transformed lives give us hope as we wait for such miracles among those we love. Another strand of that hope is the truth you’ve shared here: “Reconstructed faith will be stronger and deeper because it has been based on the character of God.” May such hope become sight SOON.
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I take a lot of hope from that truth as well, Nancy. Sometimes we have to tear the building down and rebuild it on a firm foundation, and I think a lot of evangelicals grew into adulthood (or almost adulthood) basing their assurance of salvation on the word of another person (like their parents) or the trappings of “religion” they had picked up in the water they swam in.
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Another good review!
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Aw, thanks for hanging in there with my weekly book obsessions!
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I’m in awe that you do them! It takes time to read and then more to do the reviews! An inspiration!
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I have always loved talking about books with friends. Now I get to do it every week and with lots more friends!
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