Long lashes against his pale cheeks, my youngest son was sleeping soundly despite the beeping and whirring backdrop of the children’s Intensive Care Unit (ICU). The ambulance ride, the endless testing and probing, and the grim diagnosis were secondary now to my boy’s constant pain, his fear, and the question marks that persisted hour after hour.
Surgery?
More tests?
What’s next?
What I remember most from those days of wondering and waiting was the uncertainty and the chaos of it all. There was no silence – and there was certainly no privacy – but, in the background, my prayers thrummed the cadence of a continual S.O.S., pleading for strength from God to bear the next thing, whatever it might be. By His Spirit, God reminded me that He had taken in all that had happened: the bicycle crash, the ruptured spleen, the ambulance ride, the continual suffering of my tiny boy. God knew about the present situation and all that I feared for the coming days– but, unlike me, He had not run out of strength.
So, I asked.
In a Declaration of Dependence, I asked for His strength. I looked at my desperate situation, my very sick boy, my fear, and my questions, and I asked for strength to wait and to trust God for whatever would be required in the coming hours and days.
Click here to continue reading . . .
Community among bloggers is a precious thing, so it’s my pleasure and privilege to be sharing this long ago experience of the faithfulness of God over at Debbie Kitterman’s writing home today.
Debbie Kitterman, is an author, speaker, and the founder of Dare 2 Hear, a ministry training individuals in hearing the voice of God. For information about her book or her speaking ministry, click here to visit her website.
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Looking forward to reading the rest of the post – heading over now!
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This was such a great read about this pivotal experience in your life and faith. Thanks for giving us another glimpse into your life beyond the keyboard and the screen. It helps define how you have become such a wordsmith and teacher, positive Christ-centered encourager, and more.
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Overwhelmed by your words, Pam, but I do see this time as being so important as part of a season in which God was teaching me to put my trust in Him, to base my confidence in His enablement.
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Thank you, Michele! I so needed this today! I left you a personal message on Facebook.
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Thanks, Pam.
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“If David had merely called upon some inner strength to get him through this crisis, I might admire him, but there would be no hope for me in it.” Love this line. Thank you for sharing this testimony, Michele, so blessed my it!
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Liz, thanks for joining the conversation. Blessed weekend to you!
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I almost couldn’t click over to keep reading this, Michele. I have clocked more time in the NICU and PICU than I would care to count with our oldest. The sirens, the beeping, the never-quietness of it still freezes me mid-memory. I’m glad I kept reading though. I’ve read a great deal on David because he feels the most like me in his ups and downs and I believe you are right, that he teaches us so much more by not “muscling through it.” Because we can’t. Sometimes we just can’t. And so God does.
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I really hadn’t thought about this post as being a “trigger” for anyone, but I can imagine that you have smells and sounds and certain decors in your memory that you hope never to have to experience again. There’s nothing like pouring our hearts out for our kids (of any age) to bring us to the point of helpless dependence upon the mercy and strength of God. So glad that you brought your very unique experience to this conversation, Jamie.
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Great testimony to God’s faithfulness, and I loved the lesson from the life of David.
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Very thankful for the Biblical narrative that carries so many life lessons for today!
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Hopping over to finish the story!
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Jumped over to finish the story – how could I not? Beautifully written Michele!
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I love the phrase “Declaration of Dependence.” It is such a powerful image! Thanks so much for sharing it at Booknificent Thursday on Mommynificent.com!
Tina
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Thanks, Tina!
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