How to Pray for Someone When You Don't Know What to Pray

How to Pray for Someone When You Don’t Know What to Pray

Posted on by Michele Morin

When distance separates us from a friend’s disaster, when there doesn’t seem to be a workable solution to an ongoing problem, we promise to pray. That’s what friends and families and church communities do for each other. But sometimes we just don’t know what to ask God for.

Do we pray for relief or repentance?
Do we ask God for an immediate solution or for needed growth through patient endurance?
Do we beg for healing or follow Paul’s example of fixing our eyes and our hopes on “the things which are not seen?” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

When John the Baptist sounded the alert, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world,” we might wish he had promised an end to the pain of the world. He didn’t, and that complicates our lives—especially our prayer lives—if we want to align our prayer requests with the reality of our someday-but-not-today reality.

What Everyone Needs

When we don’t know what to pray, when all the options seem to be exhausted, there is one gift left that everyone needs, and it’s based on a promise from an obscure minor prophet:

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

We can pray for an awareness of God’s presence.

Jesus introduced the gift of God’s incarnational presence, and it’s a reality in today’s world through the indwelling Spirit of God—but we forget. The noise of our present circumstances gets in the way, and we forget that God is there in the midst of the mess or the pain or the regret and confusion.

So pray for your loved one like this:

“Lord, let _________________ know your presence, right in the midst of __________________.
Thank you for being with him/her as the Mighty One who Saves.
Help them, by faith, to fix their eyes on the Son of God who died in their place.
Show them how to behold your love as the most important thing in their lives.”

And as we pray for those we love, may we also rejoice over his rejoicing, be glad for his gladness, and find ourselves quieted by his love as we hear the melody of his exultation in the depths of our listening hearts.

Holding You in the Light,

When we don’t know what to pray for, there is one gift left that everyone needs, and it’s based on a promise from an obscure minor prophet: “The Lord your God is in your midst…” We can pray for an awareness of God’s presence.

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Published by Michele Morin

Michele Morin is a Bible teacher, writer, reader, and gardener committed to the truth that women can become confident Christ-followers and students of God's Word. She has been married to an unreasonably patient husband for thirty-plus years, and together they have four married sons and a growing fleet of adorable grandchildren. Michele loves hot tea and well-crafted sentences, poems that stop her in her tracks, and days at the ocean with the whole family. She laments biblical illiteracy and advocates for the prudent use of “little minutes.” She blogs at Living Our Days, and you can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

37 thoughts on “How to Pray for Someone When You Don’t Know What to Pray”

  1. Michele, this is a favorite verse of mine. It is always comforting and encouraging.
    “We can pray for an awareness of God’s presence” is a wonderful way to pray for ourselves or someone else. Thank you and wishing you a blessed Sunday!

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  2. I have wrestled with this, even recently, as so many things have been happening with friends and family. I admit I do not always know how to pray when I am included in the prayer group requests for friends of friends. I noticed I could be way more specific if it was for someone close. I challenged my motives. Was it that i cared less for someone I didn’t know very well? Was it just about my intense caring for someone I did know well? I had a chat with God about that. I promised to add to all my prayers for others who might be dealing with some kind of crisis – I end my supplication with  – open their eyes Lord. In four words I accept that sometimes He is doing a thing that I have no knowledge of and ought not interfere with. And even so He understands how we want nothing but good things for those we love because He does too.

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    1. “Open their eyes” reminds me of Elisha’s (or was it Elijah’s) friend who finally saw the hosts of heaven deployed for their protection.
      And I join you in not wanting to “interfere” with God’s good plans. I have such a habit of turning my prayer life into a do-list for God—as if he needs my advice for how to handle things. (Lord, help me!)

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  7. Add me to the list of those who claim this as a favorite verse. I just love the picture it brings to mind! And an awareness of God’s presence right there in the midst of whatever-it-is is something everyone needs no matter what kind of crisis or hurt we are going through. An amazing thing we can pray for them, and that I hope others pray for me when I’m in the middle of something.

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  9. Love this, Michele. It’s truly what each one of us needs. I’d rather have an awareness of His presence than anything!

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  11. I’ve found this helpful from the Westminster Shorter Catechism: “Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgement of his mercies.” THIS I can do!

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  12. Your photo is so lovely! Bright, blue, and beautiful! Oh, it is a hard thing trying to figure out what a situation needs. One thing is that the resolution/answer glorifies God. When I’m not sure what to pray, another thing I do is to go into Psalms. At other times, I lean on Romans 8:26: “ Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” I am so thankful for the intercessors who stepped in the gap and prayed for me through my life.

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    1. I love Romans 8, and I remember J.I. Packer writing that the Holy Spirit fixes our prayers on the way up. That’s such a comfort to me, because so often I’m asking God for stones and scorpions, thinking that I’m asking for bread and fish…

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  13. I appreciate this reminder today. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the situation and not even know where to start praying. But so many times, it’s simple. Pray for the heart of people and look past the circumstances.

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  19. Michele, your post really touched my heart today. In a world where we often feel helpless when loved ones suffer, your guidance on prayer is so practical. I especially love the reminder that we can always pray for others to sense God’s presence in their struggles. That line about “fixing our eyes on the Son of God” is something I needed to hear for my own prayer life. Thank you for sharing this beautiful perspective!

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