The Gift of Grace Wrapped Up in a Simple Greeting

The Gift of Grace Wrapped Up in a Simple Greeting

Posted on by Michele Morin

I lived south of the Mason-Dixon just long enough to be introduced to the word Hey as a greeting—not long enough, however, to become accustomed to it. Here in New England, “Hey!” is the word we use to get someone’s attention, as in, “Hey! You can’t pahk heah!” A simple southern greeting would stop me in my tracks on campus, as I waited for the rest of the sentence.

These days, I’m stopping in my tracks when I read the greetings in Paul’s New Testament letters. There were no “throw-away” words in his writing—they all carried weight, and he was very aware that his written words were carrying the weight of grace to his readers:

  • grace that would enable them to be peacemakers in times of intense persecution;
  • grace to boldly refute false teaching;
  • grace to forgive so that relationships could be restored.

Maybe that’s why every single one of Paul’s thirteen epistles opens with the words “grace to you” and ends with the phrase “grace with you,” as if his readers would be carrying the truth of God’s great love and forgiveness with them by the time they finished reading his letter.

Is it possible for mere words to be so consequential?

In my world of hurry, I have mastered the quick hello, the cheery smile, and the averted eyes. It’s “Destination, Ho!” even on a Sunday morning when, supposedly, I have gathered together to do my part in strengthening and encouraging the body.

With hair aflame, can I really take the risk of asking, “How are you?”

What if they actually want to tell me how they are?

In detail?

Without literally using the words, what would “grace to you” sound like in the paper towel aisle at Wal-Mart? In the hallways of a Sunday-morning church? I am pondering the notion that my greetings, though not inspired as Paul’s were, can truly mediate grace to my sisters in Christ.

Jesus is never recorded as having actually used the word grace. He just taught it and lived it, so whether I find in my heart sufficient grace to pour out to others depends on whether I am faithfully taking the unconditional grace He offers to me. When my mind is occupied with odious comparisons, grace-filled words of greeting will stick in my throat. “I’m so happy to see you! Tell me how you’re doing!” will never find its way to the open air if I’m suffocating it behind judgment, impatience, or discomfort in my own skin.

“I’m so happy to see you! Tell me how you’re doing!” will never find its way to the open air if I’m suffocating it behind judgment, impatience, or discomfort in my own skin.

Like Paul, “I am what I am by the grace of God.” Trusting that this is true, and that God is at work in me, I find grace to hold a sister’s gaze and to hear her heart, to scribble down an important date or a prayer request, to pray on the spot for an expressed need.

I’ve been asking God to open my heart during the brief moments I spend chatting with my friends. They’re busy too, and maybe they’re even wishing I’d move along and let them get to their Sunday school class or finish their shopping… but maybe they’re hoping for someone to stop for a minute to see their pain and to hear their story.

Living in a nation where Rome’s brutal customs mingled with Israel’s preoccupation with measurable and highly visible righteousness, Jesus chose to address the seemingly trivial topic of greetings in His Sermon on the Mount. It seems that He wants me to offer greetings of grace to people I’d rather not even see!

“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?” (Mt.5:47 ESV)

Greetings of grace make for peace, so there’s no ducking behind the Cover Girl display at Target or pretending to ponder the missionary bulletin board in the back of the church when I run into THAT person. If I open my heart to give a grace-filled greeting, I demonstrate that I am a daughter of a grace-filled God who daily pours out grace into the life of this impatient wife, fretful mother, fitful worshiper, and inconsistent pray-er.  As God’s grace is set free to transform me, I am praying to become an instrument of transforming grace in the lives of others.

Holding You in the Light,

Greetings of grace make for peace. As God’s grace is set free to transform me, I am praying to become an instrument of transforming grace in the lives of others.

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Published by Michele Morin

Michele Morin is a Bible teacher, writer, reader, and gardener committed to the truth that women can become confident Christ-followers and students of God's Word. She has been married to an unreasonably patient husband for thirty-plus years, and together they have four married sons and a growing fleet of adorable grandchildren. Michele loves hot tea and well-crafted sentences, poems that stop her in her tracks, and days at the ocean with the whole family. She laments biblical illiteracy and advocates for the prudent use of “little minutes.” She blogs at Living Our Days, and you can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

27 thoughts on “The Gift of Grace Wrapped Up in a Simple Greeting”

  2. Well said, Michele, very well said! The last line you put in bold print says it all perfectly! I see myself in your words and know I need to stop and really listen to someone who might need that contact, but I usually hide to avoid them. I needed this reminder of grace today and everyday to be a conduit for God’s grace. My answer to your last line? Amen and Amen!!!!

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  3. Paul’s writing is always inspiring to read. I too, here in Ohio, sometimes hear someone say “hey” and I wait for the rest of the story. Have a great week.

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    1. It’s fun to note cultural differences in our social interactions. I was recently in Florida with an abundantly friendly community, and they were so welcoming to this stoic New Englander!

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  4. I’ve never noticed that Paul’s letters all begin and end with that extended grace. I don’t always know how to offer a grace-filled greeting that really sees the other person and is willing to listen, and I don’t think I’m very good at it, but being better at conversation that matters is something I’ve been working on. A gracious greeting is an important ingredient in that because obviously it will set the tone! Thanks for another encouraging and challenging word this week.

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  5. I remember learning “how are you’s” were throw-away comments – and nobody really wanted an answer. It broke my literalists heart to realize that some people didn’t mean it and really didn’t care. Someone said, “How are you’s” are too personal” – and in that, offensive to people. In a world today where saying anything can now be deemed offensive or the “wrong” thing to say – my grandson who has such a heart for people, sits with the old men at the doughnut store counter, always asks, “So what’s going on in your day?” And he sits listening as though he’s listening to the greatest story-teller ever. Of course, he’s not an introvert – extra-extroverty. I especially love in your post how you point out some people ask because they want to be asked, they want someone, maybe need, someone to know how they are. Grace with you, my friend!

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    1. Your outgoing grandson has crafted a great question as an alternative to the classic “how are you.” It’s hard not to envy someone whose bent is so external and welcoming. I want to be the kind of person who walks into a room and says, “There you are!” instead of “Here I am!”

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  6. Oh yes, there are certain times or certain people I hide from while out shopping or getting errands done or when I think I just don’t have the time for a real conversation. Though I do use “hey” both as a greeting or as a warning depending on the context. More and more though I am open to more real conversations; probably because I do feel like my to do list is so much less nowadays.

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  7. I did not realize Paul began his letters with ‘grace to’ and ended with ‘grace with’, Michele. It’s an interesting observation.

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  8. This kind of greeting seems to me the first step in hospitality–not necessarily inviting someone over, but being open-hearted to others rather than closing myself off. I’ve been guilty of blowing by someone in the church lobby before the service because I knew I’d get caught in a longer conversation if I stopped to talk, and I wanted to get in my seat on time. And when I am out running errands, I’m “on mission” with blinders on. I’ve even been a little startled when someone spoke to me in the grocery store. I can’t imagine Jesus doing either of those things. How can I show grace to people in bigger ways if I don’t stop to notice and care fr people in these smaller ways? Thanks for giving me much to think about.

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  9. I have to tell you I don’t use the word Hey for a greeting. I am one to start up a conversation if time allows. It sometimes makes someone’s day.

    Lovely verses and beautiful words. Thank you!

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  10. Somewhere along the years I noticed there seemed to be more talkers in the world than listeners. (I was one of those talkers!) I determined to become a better listener. It’s a skill I’m still working on. A listening ear is a small gift, but no doubt provides value. Also, Jesus did say it’s more blessed to give than receive (Acts 20:35). I think the listener’s blessing is the joy and satisfaction in her heart from ministering to another.

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    1. Your thoughts here make something inside me breathe a sigh of relief, Nancy. I never seem to have much to contribute to a conversation, especially in the way of small talk, so I’m leaning into the questions that come to mind as a way of drawing out the person I’m with. Funny, but most of my closest friends are talkers.

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  11. Guilty! I’m usually in a hurry on Sunday mornings to get my tasks done before class starts. Then after church, I’m on the counting team and again bypass talkers to get the job done. BUT in those golden 10 minutes between Sunday School and churck, I do follow my Granny’s example and make the rounds and talk to everyone I can and therefore become the last person to sit down so worship can start. Hopefully, that counts a little …

    Love the idea of “greetings of grace.” I’m going to be thinking on how I can incorporate that in my life.

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  12. I did not realize Paul used “grace to you” and “grace with you” in this way, Michele. I love that, and absolutely think that “mere words” can be so consequential! I’ve actually missed those spontaneous conversations at the grocery store these last several months of ordering groceries online (though also very grateful that this service is available). Thanks to you, when I return to in-person shopping, I will be even more aware of people around me who may need a friendly greeting. 🙂

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  13. […] The Gift of Grace Wrapped Up in a Simple Greeting. “Without literally using the words, what would ‘grace to you’ sound like in the paper towel aisle at Wal-Mart? In the hallways of a Sunday-morning church? I am pondering the notion that my greetings, though not inspired as Paul’s were, can truly mediate grace to my sisters in Christ.” […]

    Liked by 1 person

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