Maybe it’s the bright yellow of autumn here in New England, or perhaps it’s just my affinity for Robert Frost’s view of the world, but I can’t seem to turn calendar pages past the fall equinox without mumbling phrases from “The Road Not Taken.” Unfortunately, a glut of ’70s-era posters and way too many graduation speeches have rendered the poem hackneyed, mooring it in its final and familiar stanza:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
This simplistic portrayal of a fork in the leaf-strewn path seems to veer on past the melancholy of regret that characterizes so much of Frost’s poetry. Hear it in this earlier line from “The Road Not Taken”:
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence . . .”
It is both our glory and our demise that humanity has the ability to recycle a decision. This was nearly my undoing when I was agonizing over college choices and the selection of a major, but it has gifted both freedom and fresh air to me in my understanding of calling during these years of living past the mid-point.
Picking up C.S. Lewis’s Great Divorce after a long absence, I was surprised to find not only the expected words about the great chasm between good and evil, but also glorious truth for those who have chosen what they now see to have been a wrong road. Lewis likens the restorative process to the correction of a math problem, which (after having shepherded four homeschooled sons through algebra, I can heartily attest) “can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point.”
This is good news to me, for I can think of a number of things I’d like to “work afresh.” I invite you to join me in taking a good, hard look at the elements of your own story that cause you to hang your head or avert your eyes–or go foraging in the fridge in search of something to fill you up.
Regret, used well and with its sharp edge pointed toward the task at hand like my favorite garden hoe, can be a salutary thing. It can be the gift that sends me in search of a better plan.
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Back on the Right Road
It turns out that those wrong roads marked with regret are not dead ends after all, so long as we don’t insist on “simply going on.” Or, as Lewis framed it: “The rescue consists in being put back on the right road.” And so, I see that regret, used well and with its sharp edge pointed toward the task at hand like my favorite garden hoe, can be a salutary thing. It can be the gift that sends me in search of a better plan.
For me, the rescue has consisted in agreeing with God about His absolutely positive intentions toward me; rejecting relationship strategies based on a scarcity mindset; and unlearning some negative mental scripts that are so old they came to me on an 8-track.
God’s invitation to the better road resonates in a voice that has remained consistent throughout time:
Come let us reason together.” (Isaiah 1:18)
Much of the Old Testament is a song sung by a Jilted-Lover-God, wooing a wayward people in hope of their return. Hear the melody to these lyrics in a minor key:
“Turn away from the path you have chosen in error.” (Proverbs 4:14-15)
“I will turn away from my anger and grief.” (Hosea 14:4)
And this: “Return to me, and I will return to you.” (Zechariah 1:3)
In this return, there is no shame or threat of reproach. Instead, I find a promise of mercy and grace, a blessed assurance that, however slight or cataclysmic my misstep, there will always be a way back.
The wrong roads marked with regret are not dead ends after all. (Zecharaiah 1:3)
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Living Our Days 
What a great way to close out September and get ready for the next month – “In this return, there is no shame or threat of reproach. Instead, I find a promise of mercy and grace, a blessed assurance that, however slight or cataclysmic my misstep, there will always be a way back.” I have always loved that poem and associated it with this season. It called to acknowledge the path chosen and move on in our daily walk with the Lord. In some ways, it also spoke of not being afraid to take a different path than the worn one, as in where the world goes, but to choose the one God has for us. We might wonder where the other led but we know where He leads… ~ Rosie
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I like your thought about starting over at this point in the year. Most wonderfully, no matter when we turn around and decide to make things right, God will always meet us more than half way.
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Isn’t always nice to know (or maybe not know at the time) when a wrong or difficult path is taken that even though we may not feel it, Jesus is always there leading us by the arm back to the right path. Great scripture post to read this morning. Have a happy Sunday.
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I think the popular sentiment is that we return from wrong paths into judgment and scorn, which is the furthest thing from the truth. God the Father is always ready to throw a Welcome Back Party for his prodigals!
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Sorry, it should say isn’t it nice to know (must have still been sleepy when posted my comment). lol
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For me, and perhaps for others as well, I have to work hard to stay on the right road. I find myself not paying attention and when I look up I discover I am not where I should be. So, I correct myself and get myself back on the right road. I think it’s the Lord’s way of teaching me to be award of him at all times.
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Amazing how much of our lives we’re wandering around on auto-pilot!
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Often our tendency with regrets is to keep replaying them and beating ourselves up over them. They tend to linger even after confessing to the Lord. Instead of confessing them over and over, I try to remember I already have, and God has promised to forgive me. Sometimes there aren’t do-overs, like when someone has died and there are things we wish we had done differently, but I try to redeem the regrets by letting them humble me and remind me of my need to walk closely with God and to be more watchful and careful on the road ahead.
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You are reminding me of God’s stated purpose for the wilderness days: “To humble you, to test you, to show you what is in your heart…” I would agree that regret serves us in this way as well.
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What a blessed assurance that God is faithfully calling us to turn back and let him help us and put us back on the right path, the one he walks with us. He is not wagging his finger and shouting “I told you so” as we so often seem to think. Our regret can be powerful and helpful when we allow ourselves to be corrected and taught by our wrong decisions.
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Absolutely no finger-wagging! How gracious!
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Oh, my friend, you have such a beautiful wordsmith but a wordsmith giving us keys to redeem the hard places – those “recycled decisions” that I just need to release, leading me to this: “The wrong roads marked with regret are not dead ends after all. (Zecharaiah 1:3)”. Healing balm to the soul!
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I think the older we get, the more we need reassurance that regret can be a useful tool for productive growth and change. Thanks for picking up on the heart behind the words.
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Praise God there is ALWAYS a way back! Indeed, “such mercy, such love, and and such grace” (You reminded me of an old song my mother, a gifted soloist, used to sing, “I Am Not Worthy.” That line about mercy, love and grace comes at the end of the chorus, etched into my memory from long ago.) Thank you, Michele!
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I love that your roots go back to a musically gifted mum. What a heritage!
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Michele, I love the idea that regret can be “the gift that sends me in search of a better plan.” Wonderful!
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God has a way of turning even our wrong turns into goodness and grace. (And I loved your story about writing because you were afraid!)
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