In the aftermath of a big snowstorm, I’m grateful for the good work of our son with his snowplow. He clears the driveway, pushes the snow into big piles, and leaves the yard accessible to our vehicles and our feet.
What works great here in the northeast when winter has us by the throat does not transfer well to parenting life. Apparently, the hovering and overly helpful “helicopter parents” I read about during my own parenting years have been replaced by a fleet of snowplow parents, well-resourced and ambitious, and determined to clear every obstacle out of their children’s way.
Snowplow parents ensure that their children will never experience discomfort or failure. They cater to their toddlers’ finicky eating and sleeping preferences, lie to their elementary-age kids’ teachers and do the lion’s share of their science fair projects, try to “fix” their teens’ speeding tickets, and then foot the entire bill for their college education.
It goes without saying (and yet, nonetheless, I will say it) that no parent wants their kids to suffer. Today and every day, I want only good things for the lives of my four adult sons.
Even so, common sense tells me that if we want to equip our children to live a truly adult life and a Christian life, they have to learn to deal with obstacles and suffering—and they have to learn this in a world where the predominant message is to chase pleasure, bypass difficulty, shift the blame, and take the easy road.
God Is NOT a Snowplow Parent
Beyond common sense, the Bible reveals that God, our Heavenly Parent, is not a snowplow parent now and has never been one. Christians are not exempt from the difficulties of life, and the way we talk about this truth reveals a lot about our view of God.
To say that God causes suffering is just as inaccurate as saying that God is a passive observer of humanity. Even the idea that God allows his children to suffer seems a little weak. For my own heart, the word ordains rings true. God ordains a gracious mix of success and joy mingled with frustration and pain, so we learn to depend on him. He has a plan and a purpose in mind.
In the Old Testament, God’s relationship with his much-loved children of Israel reminds present-day believers that we will, indeed, go through hard times. There will be deep water and hot fires, but we will not go through them alone:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. (Isaiah 43:1-3)
The New Testament reveals that our Father in Heaven has a BIG purpose for every trial or obstacle we encounter:
We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)
God loves us enough to allow what he hates to accomplish what he desires for us.
Endurance, character, and hope!
God loves us enough to allow what he hates to accomplish what he desires for us. Endurance, character, and hope!
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How do you respond when suffering comes your way?
Do you complain your way through trials—or find something to be thankful for?
Do you find it difficult to incorporate life’s obstacles, frustrations, or disappointments into your understanding of a loving and merciful God?
God is not a snowplow parent. He allows us to experience failure so we learn to look beyond worldly success. The goal of his wise parenting is to woo our hearts away from this world and prepare us for eternity. His lavish love and unfailing attention assure us that he knows exactly what we need to bring us to full maturity for his glory.
Holding You in the Light,
God is not a snowplow parent. He allows us to experience failure so we learn to look beyond worldly success. The goal of his wise parenting is to woo our hearts away from this world and prepare us for eternity.
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