Going through an old journal from the days of four kids under the age of nine, I found an entry based on my reading of Nehemiah 4:10:
“The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot build the wall.”
“Wow,” I thought, scanning the entry. “That must have been quite a day.”
Living in the midst of diapers and flash cards, Hot Wheels and finger paint, dirty laundry and the flotsam and jetsam of meal preparation, I had read Nehemiah 4 with a kind of howling, mind-numbed sympathy. I had responded by turning the verse into my own lament-of-the-day. “How can I sweep a floor that I can’t even find?”
Having raised the entire wall to half its height, the people of God had clearly demonstrated their fortitude for the task of rejuvenating their walled city. Unfortunately, their relentless progress was ratcheting up the desperation level of their enemies. Disenchanted with the results of taunting and name-calling, Sanballat and Tobiah were raising a brute squad in hopes of creating confusion among the ranks. Consequently, some of the wall-building crew had to be pulled for security duty, leaving everyone feeling a little leery, a little more threatened, and a lot more overwhelmed by the rubble.
The most important difference between building and rebuilding is the rubble, and the truth is that most of what we do in this life falls into the category of rebuilding. We have a tendency to handle our personal rubble in one of two ways:
- Work around it and hope no one else sees it. A character in one of Anne Lamott’s novels expresses this hope: “She wanted him to see her as someone with just a few pieces of colorful carry-on luggage instead of multiple body bags requiring special cargo fees and handling.” Wouldn’t we all secretly like to be that effective at image management?
- Get used to the mess. When the rubble of addiction, a crumbling relationship, or unstable financial foundations has become “normal,” life is exhausting before one toe is off the mattress in the morning. Failing to see the rubble creates a dangerous environment — for working and for living.
Nehemiah and his crew persevered despite the rubble, and it appears that they managed to do that by going on the offensive (v. 13); by remembering the Lord (v. 14); and by staying focused on their core values (v. 14). The resulting perseverance and holy ambition carried them through days of wearing a tool belt on one hip and a scabbard on the other.
What is the rubble that you are working around or trying to ignore? Compare the effort of living in the ruins with the amount of exertion it would require to “clean it up.”
- Which is a better expenditure of your days?
- Ask yourself if you really want to be climbing over this same mess ten years from now.
It was not by accident that the Israelite construction crew was organized by family and challenged to fight for their brothers, sons, daughters, wives, and houses. Who is stepping over your rubble with you? Begin clearing the rubble for their sake, as much as for yours, and, above all, let the body of Christ fulfill its role of sober vigilance in caring for one another—by caring for you. Then, hear the words of Nehemiah 4:14:
“Remember the Lord, great and awesome . . .”
God is at work behind the scenes and waits for the one who will admit her helplessness and need. He wants to prove his strength on your behalf (2 Chronicles 16:9).
My rubble today is nothing like the rubble of my early mothering years. However, I am still dependent upon the God who is at work behind the scenes. Sometimes clearing the rubble, sometimes working around it until God shows me the way, I want to make it my “practice” (in both senses of the word!) to “Remember the Lord, great and awesome.”
Holding You in the Light,
God is at work behind the scenes and waits for the one who will admit her helplessness and need. He wants to prove his strength on your behalf.
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Living Our Days 
I so get this. My second and third kids were a year and a day apart so I had an uninterrupted extra year of diapers, potty training, constant toy mess. I recall one day wondering what it would be like to not have a play pen taking up most of my living room. And just like that, it’s all in the archives now. Interesting how we can look back on those tough times that we survived as sweet memories. LOL! I admit being a grandparent is sooooo much better though. Definitely a blessing.
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I needed that parenting boot camp to sort out my priorities and to show me my limitations. And YES! Grandparenting is all bonus time.
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Amen. When feelings of helplessness arise, go to the Lord and seek His peace and comfort. Have a blessed week! 🙂
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He may not choose to change our circumstances, but he can certainly give us strength to endure and wisdom for the moment!
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“Sometimes clearing the rubble, sometimes working around it until God shows me the way, I want to make it my “practice” (in both senses of the word!) to “Remember the Lord, great and awesome.”
Being back in this phase with the toddler grandchild daily has brought these memories back to the front. How I did it with four and still have any sanity left is hard to believe – all because of His grace and mercy. While my energy and ability to run is less, the view and perspective is different as a Grandma. Giving and receiving that grace is more important as we clear the rubble and work around it until He shows the way. Made bread with little feet running around and tugging on the legs – and… it turned out just fine.
~ Rosie
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Congratulations on the successful bread project! We have our eleven month old grandson staying with us overnight, and you can be sure that the only reason I’m accomplishing anything at this moment is that he is asleep for the night!
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Ha Ha! I know that!
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I’ve never considered that rebuilding could be extra exhausting because there’s almost always rubble. What an important insight! I think knowing that can help with perspective, because no, I don’t want to be dealing with the same rubble years down the road! Thanks for sharing this word of wisdom and encouragement!
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That’s the narrative that’s fueling some important work I need to attend to—do I really want to be in my 70s and still dealing with this??
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I remember my second born destroying his older brothers massive Lego set (one was probably 2, the other 8). I encouraged him to consider it a natural disaster and learn about rebuilding. He was not amused and did not get on board with that idea. Are we not always in some kind of rubble? We think we have cleaned up and God reveals another area that needs work? I understand waking up exhausted–many days I still do. I think how I live as I rebuild has changed–and learning what to let God take care of and what He wants me to take care of has changed, lightening my load in so many ways. Wonderful read, Michele – perfect for Monday morning and setting priorities on what I will be building and rebuilding during the week! Grace & Blessings, my friend!
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Oh, the Lego stories boy moms can tell!
Our third son earned the name “Godzilla of Legoland!”
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Wonderfully wise as always, Michele. These statements jumped out at me: “God is at work behind the scenes and waits for the one who will admit her helplessness and need. He wants to prove his strength on your behalf (2 Chronicles 16:9).” Oh, yes–I am helpless in a number of situations I pray about, Lord. I praise you for being an attentive God who is always at work (John 5:17). I praise you for your strength that has interceded numerous times in the past, fortifying my faith for these requests I bring before you now. How comforting to know you WANT to prove your strength on our behalf! With expectation we wait and watch and work amidst the rubble.
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What you have said is so wonderfully true! We may be slogging through the rubble (sometimes of our own making!), but we are people of hope and expectation because of our good God.
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